Average Jane Takes Out the Trash

In our town, we get a special large item pickup on the first trash day of each month. Yesterday I noticed a neighbor putting mattresses out by the curb, so that was my cue to drag my extremely reluctant husband to the garage to help me put out the old La-Z-Boy couch and chair that had been shoved into a corner since we bought our new furniture several months ago.

The furniture looked like this (try to imagine it without all the junk piled on it):

The time the furniture spent in the garage did not do it any favors. The upholstery was already quite worn when we put it in there and one side of the couch no longer reclined properly. By the time we pulled the couch from its damp corner, it was dirty, a little mildewy on the side that had touched the ground, and the broken half was sagging even more than before.

We carried it to the curb (very heavy!) and piled the base and back of the chair on top of it. Both pieces were gone long before dawn. Ick!

I’m certainly no stranger to the idea of people cruising through the neighborhoods on big trash day. In fact, some friends of mine in a neighboring suburb that only has large trash pickup twice a year have a party to celebrate. We all go to their house and sit in the driveway watching trucks go by and playing bingo based on the loot the scavengers have selected. It’s one of the social highlights of the year.

One of our friends has thrown in his lot with the trash pickers. He makes a tidy extra income on Ebay picking up perfectly good or easily fixable things that people have thrown away (lawn mowers, guitar amps, drum sets, stereo equipment, etc.).

My first introduction to the kinds of hideous things people will take as long as they’re free came years ago when I was helping my dad move. We put out an ancient mattress and box springs that should have been thrown out fifteen years earlier. As we were making another trip to the curb, a guy pulled up and said, "Hey, do you mind if I take that mattress? I have furnished rental property."

May I say, "Ew! Ew! Ew!"

Now you know why you should never rent a furnished house or apartment. You’re welcome for that mental image.