As you may remember from my canoe trip late last summer (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 – and if you’re curious but pressed for time, Part 2 is the funniest installment), I like to milk a weekend trip for a whole week of blog entries whenever I get the chance. Thus, I’m going to break up my account of this weekend’s Las Vegas trip and stretch it out from now until Friday.
We’ll start with last Friday’s events. My husband and I got up early to finish packing, feed and medicate the animals, grab breakfast at McDonald’s and head to the airport for our 9 o’clock flight. I really wish I’d packed my suitcase the night before because I ended up with two mismatched black, left-foot boots when I unpacked.
We got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. It wasn’t particularly busy, which might be why they decided to flag my boarding pass for "special treatment." Then – hey, what a coincidence! – they did the same to my husband’s boarding papers.
"Special treatment" means they rifle through all of your checked baggage, squeezing the pillows, poking through the cosmetic bags, etc., etc. If you think they re-fold your clothes when they’re finished, think again. Oh, but the fun doesn’t stop there! When you get to the gate, they do the same to all of your carry-on baggage. Yes, all of your personal items are removed and displayed to the traveling public one by one.
Then it’s time for the wand. First you sit in a chair while a security person runs a metal detecting wand over your stockinged feet. Then you stand in scarecrow pose while the wand is passed over your entire body. I foolishly wore a bra with an underwire, which is a one-way ticket to being felt up by the security guard in front of everyone. In fact, she offered the option of a "private screening" behind a curtained area, but that seemed even creepier somehow so I declined.
We didn’t get the Bonnie and Clyde treatment at our layover destination. I presume we must have been deemed harmless by then. We got into Las Vegas around noon, met up with my friend K., and proceeded to the MGM Grand to begin our weekend of cheesy Vegas fun.
Tomorrow: Why, oh why didn’t I bring more comfortable shoes?!?
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