Author: Average Jane

Today’s the big day and my plans pretty much remain the same as they were yesterday: yoga, brunch and a movie. My niece has asked if we can also go swimming, and I don’t see why not. I’ve never been to any of the pools near my house, but there’s a first time for everything.

My husband’s tests yesterday went swimmingly and he’s been given a clean bill of intestinal health. The experience seems to have renewed his optimism about his general health and he’s making noises about joining a gym again and eating healthier. I hope it sticks.

In other household news, Xena is on my shit list because she jumped up on top of our TV and knocked down two of my plants, breaking one of the pots. I was so mad that I actually spanked her, not that spanking a cat ever does any good. I had to throw away the now-rootless sansevieria, but I think the schefflera is going to survive. The worst part about the whole thing is that she was almost certainly stalking our betta fish when the incident occurred. I wish she would grow up a bit and stop messing with my stuff.

That’s all I have for now. My low-key birthday activities begin soon, so I’d best hop in the shower before it’s time to wake up my niece.

I’m taking the day off from work today because tomorrow’s my birthday. Guess how I’m spending my lovely, free day? Nah, don’t bother. You’ll never figure it out on your own.

The big fun starts around noon. That’s when my husband is scheduled for a colonoscopy and endoscopy. I’m the lucky gal who gets to take him there and drag him home afterward.

Oh, the things I’ve learned about the human digestive system in the last 24 hours! It turns out that colonoscopy prep includes a day of liquid diet (broth, clear fruit juice, popsicles, and gelatin that isn’t red or purple) and an entire gallon of some kind of laxative that the victim patient is supposed to drink in 8-ounce doses every 15 minutes until it’s gone. Ha! Ha ha ha!

What really happened is that my husband drank about half the gallon (which is pretty impressive, I think) and then puked copiously to the point that there was no way he could possibly drink any more. This is probably only the second time my husband has thrown up in the 15 years I’ve known him. That’s in contrast to me, who throws up at the slightest provocation. In fact, I had to go outside while he was yakking because the power of suggestion was getting too strong.

So anyway, he called his doctor for advice around 10 p.m. The doctor suggested that he go to the drug store, get a bottle of magnesium citrate and take that instead. I volunteered to go, but not before I got to enjoy the experience of hearing the doctor admonish my husband for questioning whether the new medicine would also make him pukey. "Do you really think I’d knowingly prescribe a medication that would make you vomit?" he said. Subtext: "Quit yer whining and do what I say!"

I hate to scare you single readers, but this is what happens when you get married. Sooner or later you’re going to find out way more about your spouse than you really wanted to know.

The good news is that the weekend should make up for today. My niece is spending tonight and Saturday night with us and I have a lot of activities planned. She’s coming with me to yoga class and a brunch on Saturday, after which we’ll probably go see either "Nancy Drew" or "Ratatouille" (or maybe both). On Sunday, we’re going to a major league baseball game.

Sounds like a good birthday weekend, don’t you think?

Yesterday shook down a little differently than I’d originally planned. I called my dad in the morning and switched our work time to tonight after I leave my real job. That freed me up for everything I’d wanted to do in the morning and afternoon.

I started the day’s activities with a delightful breakfast with Cagey, MLE and Hulkster. We met at an IHOP (chosen because it was close to I-70, in case you’re wondering), and chatted for an hour and a half over breakfast. It was great to meet you guys! Thanks for not minding that I pretty much invited myself along!

Once we said our goodbyes, I made a beeline to a nearby Converse store to shop for sneakers. I got a great deal on some black high-tops with a shiny, black fingerprint pattern on them. I believe I’ll be wearing them today.

After that, I raced home to find an acceptable swimsuit and other accoutrements for joining my sister and her family on their boat. I started with a pair of over-sized, hot pink board shorts and a coordinating top. They fit okay, but I decided to try on the bikini I’d bought in Myrtle Beach about five years ago and another two-piece suit I’d had for almost a decade. Aaaahh! My eyes! My eyes!

So those suits are never to see the light of day again. I put the pink shorts and top back on, grabbed a couple of beach towels and set off for the lake.

To the point of my post title, I don’t go out in the sun as a general rule. I come from pasty Swedish, British and Dutch stock and it’s really best if I stay well away from harmful UV rays, as the sunscreen commercials put it. However, I enjoy boating and swimming, so I occasionally crawl out from my dark lair and slather myself with 50+ SPF.

It was sunny when we started out, so it felt good to speed around the lake a bit and especially good to anchor and jump into the cool water. I kept reapplying sunscreen to my face any time it felt warm, so I didn’t get much noticeable sun there. I am a little pink about the chest and shoulders, but it doesn’t hurt or anything.

It was getting less and less sunny as the afternoon progressed and by the time I decided to head home, there was a dark cloud over one side of the lake. As I drove west, it began to rain lightly and once I was close to my own neighborhood, I think it would be safe to say that it was flash flooding.

It rained for the rest of the day, although that didn’t deter various neighbors of ours from blowing up huge arsenals of fireworks, from what we could hear. We left the house once to stuff ourselves with barbecue and then stayed in for the rest of the evening. It was probably the most relaxing 4th of July I’ve ever had.

So how was your day?

Until yesterday, I had nothing planned for Independence Day whatsoever. Then I agreed to go work at my dad’s office for a while, but that doesn’t exactly count as a thrilling holiday activity.

Now things are starting to pick up a bit. Cagey has invited me to join in on her breakfast with MLE later this morning. I love getting the chance to meet other bloggers! (Duh, as if you couldn’t tell by my repeated BlogHer trips.)

That means I’ll have to push back my work for my dad, but that’s okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with my plans to meet up with my sister for some boat time on the lake. Note to self: must buy super-duper sunblock before this afternoon.

I’m within about 150 pages of finishing "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," which means I should have it knocked out this morning before breakfast (I woke up kind of early). I also re-read "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" recently, so I’ll be all set for the upcoming movie and final book later this month.

Other than that, I think our plan is to stay in, cook stuff on the grill and do some more recording. I really don’t care whether or not I see fireworks and it seems like a lot less hassle to just skip them. I have enough chigger bites already, thank you very much.

I don’t know about y’all, but I have to go back to work tomorrow, so that puts kind of a damper on any serious partying. Is anyone else thrown off by the weird Wednesdayness of this year’s holiday?

I just pulled down my photos from the weekend and I had to share a few that we took while antiquing.

Wait, it gets better:

It’s the Hombeez vs. the Drug Bugs! You don’t want to be a Drug Bug do you? Of course not!

Judging by the fact that there’s a URL on the back (admittedly an inactive one, but still) I’m thinking this is too new to belong in an antique store. However, we also found this treasure (click to enlarge):

Yes, it’s the non-stop fun of the Stake a Homestead game! "A game based on the actual HOMESTEAD ACT." Whee! You really cannot make this stuff up.

My pre-birthday trip this weekend was absolutely wonderful. We met at my house on Saturday afternoon and piled into my sister’s car for the hour-long drive. There were four of us, which turned out to be just the right number of people.

We stopped on the way at a fairly new winery that was headquartered in a tiny, 1950s elementary school building (I’m sure you can picture it). We tasted their selection and each bought several bottles. It’s nice to have wine on hand for summer entertaining.

Once we got into Atchison, we had just enough time to stop at Nell Hill’s to shop for home decor items for the last half hour they were open. I picked up some lovely, green-handled measuring spoons and a decorative urn with a lid. The urn is for my husband’s uncle’s ashes, which have been sitting in a cardboard box in the studio for way too long. I figure we can work the plastic bag into the opening of the urn and seal it with Gorilla Glue.

Once we arrived at the B&B, we took the tour, put our stuff in our rooms, and repaired to the front porch to sit on the swing, drink wine and eat cheese and crackers. The proprietor gave us a book of menus from local restaurants and made a reservation for us at 7:15.

We ate dinner at a restaurant overlooking the Missouri River, then took a stroll along the river after dessert. The weather was beautiful and our only regret was that we’d locked our purses in the car before we discovered that there was a pub up the road.

When we returned to the B&B, we got into our pajamas and played Apples to Apples on the huge bed in the room where I was staying. My sister brought out a French silk pie she had in a cooler and me made chocolate martinis.

We didn’t stay up particularly late, but we all managed to sleep in until just before our scheduled 9:30 a.m. breakfast. When we got downstairs, we found a table set up for us in the mansion’s sun room. Breakfast was German baked eggs (delicious! I got the recipe), spiced bacon, asparagus wrapped in smoked turkey and chive, cinnamon rolls, and parfait glasses filled with fresh strawberries and real whipped cream. It may very well have been the best breakfast I’ve ever had.

We lingered over the breakfast table until nearly 11, then packed up and headed toward home. On the way, we stopped in Weston, Missouri and shopped for a couple of hours.

You may be wondering: was the house haunted? Well, not that any of us
could tell. It was just a beautiful, old house with creaky floors. None of us minded the non-supernatural nature of the weekend.

My actual birthday is this coming Saturday (7/7/07) and I have nothing planned whatsoever. However, I like to celebrate my birthday over several weeks, so I’m sure I’ll manage to get in many more parties between now and then.

This weekend I’m taking an early birthday trip with my sister and some friends to Atchison, Kansas, a town which is known for being haunted – and having a very nice shopping district. We’re staying at a bed and breakfast in an old mansion that’s supposedly haunted, although you’d never know it by the B&B’s website.

Most of the time I’d tell you that I’m an extreme skeptic. On the other hand, the house where I grew up seemed haunted to me. When I was a kid, I’d frequently wake up thinking I saw someone standing in the corner of my room. I’d lunge for the light switch and turn it on, only to find…nothing.

After I moved out, I’d sometimes have to come by to feed the animals while my mom was out on the road with her band. It completely freaked me out to be there after dark and I’d turn on every light in the entire house. I’ve never felt that way about any other place I’ve lived.

So that’s my haunting experience to date. In fact, I wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes: Haunted.