Average Jane

Author: Average Jane

  • Average Jane Turns Three

    Today is the third anniversary of this blog. Tempus fugit and all that…

    This is my 760th post and I’ve received 2,223 comments so far not counting spam, which I always delete.

    Over the last three years, I’ve come to realize that blogging is only a little bit about what I write here. It’s far more about being part of the group you see listed on the lower right, and BlogHer, and the giant list of blog feeds to which I subscribe in Bloglines (322 and counting).

    I’m perfectly happy hanging out on the blogger D-list forever as long as all of you keep reading, commenting and occasionally meeting up with me for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. If I haven’t met you in person, well, we’re all relatively young. We never know where life may lead us and we have time yet for some surprises.

  • Average Jane Loves You All

    Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you who don’t loathe the holiday on principle.

    My husband and I will attempt to go out to dinner tonight after I get out of a board meeting. He told me that for my gift, he’d pay for me to get a massage. I have one scheduled for the 28th anyway, so that works out well.

    How about a Valentine link?

    • Send a "saucy" Valentine e-card from Pain Is Good hot sauce. [Full disclosure: They’re one of my company’s clients and I wrote the copy.]

    As long as we’re thinking about hearts, here’s a strong reminder to take care of yours. Women: Don’t forget that your heart symptoms are different than men’s.

    Thank you to everyone who suggested a name for the kitten. I like several of them, and I’m still trying to determine which one is her. I’ll report back once one sticks.

    Have a lovely Valentine’s Day or, failing that, a lovely Wednesday.

  • Average Jane Gets A Surprise

    My husband and I went to dinner at my sister’s house on Friday night. The plan was that my husband would fix my sister’s computers and my sister and I and one of our friends would watch movies ("Idiocracy" and "Dirty Love," in case you were wondering). Not long after we sat down to eat, a very hyper version of this darted across the room:

    Sleepykitty

    My sister had been telling me about an adorable, snuggly, black kitten at her vet’s office. She thought I should have this kitten. I agreed that I would be willing to go to her vet’s office and meet the kitten. I thought we might do so on Friday afternoon, but when I called my sister to ask if she wanted to go to lunch with me, she was headed to a doctor’s appointment, so I didn’t think any more of it.

    So obviously my sister decided at some point to take things a few steps further. I think it’s safe to say that I was rather surprised to be bringing home a kitten that night.

    I had originally meant to lock the kitten in the bathroom and let my old cats discover her gradually. It took about 10 seconds for her to flip out after being left alone in the bathroom, so I immediately scrapped that plan and just opened the door and let the cats sort things out on their own.

    The kitten is about four months old and possessed of seemingly boundless energy. The other cats are not warming up to her much yet, although my male cat let her sort of snuggle against him on the couch today, so that’s some progress. I think both older cats would kind of like to play, but not if it means ceding any authority. I think they’ll all get along after a while.

    We’ve kicked around some ideas for names, but nothing is really sticking yet. The vet’s office called her Silver because she has a little bit of white fur on her chest and belly. My sister suggested Olive because she has green eyes, but I already know a cat named Olive. I’ve considered Niobe, Xena and Asia, but I’m not 100% convinced about any of those.

    Do you like any of the names we’ve thought of? Do you have any name suggestions for a black, female kitten with green eyes? Help me name my new kitten!

  • Average Jane Outsources Your Entertainment

    In celebration of the last workday of the week, here are some links to sites I’ve been enjoying lately:

    • Cracked.com – The online version of Cracked Magazine. Back in the day, I was always more of a Mad Magazine fan, but the latest incarnation of Cracked online contains some good laughs.
    • I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? – I’m such a sucker for cat photos with gamer-oriented captions. My husband thinks this is proof that I’m going to turn into a crazy cat lady when he dies.
    • Grammarphobia.com, The Blog – Daily dissections of English language usage.
    • Indexed – The human condition, neatly charted on index cards.

    Click away! And have a lovely weekend.

  • Average Jane Holds Her Breath

    Chemicalfire

    This is a blurry camera-phone photo I took this afternoon while fleeing (okay, leaving in an orderly fashion) my office in downtown Kansas City due to a massive fire at a nearby chemical plant. We could see the enormous plume of smoke quite clearly from our office and it didn’t take long before our company officials told us to go home.

    I live about 10 miles from the site of the fire, but the wind has blown the smoke and haze directly my way and it smells a little chlorine-y outside now.

    The EPA keeps saying via the local TV news that the air is perfectly
    safe to breathe. Pardon me if I don’t believe a word of it. When 100+
    different chemicals are exploding and burning, I can’t help but suspect
    that the smoky air may not be ideal for prolonging a healthy life.

    I took my laptop home in case it seems like a bad idea to return to the office in the morning. Apparently the fire is pretty much out of control and it may be days before it burns itself out. Another delightful aspect of the story is that there are chemical-filled rail cars so close to the fire that the flames are licking them. Nobody seems to be able to say what toxic goodness awaits within should the cars explode.

    Can I come live in your city for a while?

    * * * * *

    Update 2/8/07: The word seems to be that the air really is safe to breathe even though the fire is still burning vigorously. Best of all, the rail cars (which it turns out are filled with highly flammable paint thinner) didn’t explode. I guess I’ll be headed to the office later this morning.

    Amazingly, nobody was seriously hurt in all of this, although several nearby houses and businesses burned. Here’s an article about the fire from a local TV news channel, if you’re interested in reading more.

  • What’s Average Jane Doing?

    When I’m not at work, I should be working on song lyrics, cleaning up my home office, painting, etc. Instead, I’ve managed to find a lot of other distractions.

    I’m playing games:

    • Wordy (it’s like a stripped-down version of Bookworm)
    • Jewel Quest – I treated myself to a Mac version of it on a trip to the computer store last night. I finally stopped playing around midnight when my eyes got tired. The real version is way more fun than the free online version.

    I’m watching TV:

    • Heroes – I was right about who Claire’s father is! The watch and shirtsleeve gave it away.
    • Lost – Back today, I understand. I’m getting wary, but I’ll keep watching.
    • Rome – It’s always been gory, but last week’s episode was almost more than I could stand. Plus, the Octavian actor switcheroo is going to take a little getting used to.
    • Rules of Engagement – I watched the premiere. In general, I like Patrick Warburton and David Spade, but the show’s going to have to get better for me to bother to watch it in the other room while Heroes is being TiVoed (we have the old-school TiVo that only records one show at a time).
    • My Name Is Earl/The Office/Scrubs – Otherwise known as my favorite hour-and-a-half of continuous TV watching in any given week.
    • The Ghost Whisperer – Cheesy and emotionally manipulative, but it gives me something to watch on Saturday or Sunday morning before my husband wakes up. Thank goodness they made Jennifer Love-Hewitt re-record the voiceover for the intro this year. Talk about a stiff line reading.
    • Psych – Love it! It’s just as formulaic as any detective show, but the actors are engaging and the stories are creative.

    I’m playing with the cats (but I haven’t gotten another one).

    I’m surfing the ‘net:

    • I submitted a drawing of a mouse to The Mouse Achivement Page. You should, too! Why not?
    • I won a copy of Arianna Huffington’s book "On Becoming Fearless" from A Girl Must Shop. Thanks, Megan!
    • My Kaboodle lists are still growing rapidly. Thank goodness I’m just bookmarking all that stuff and not buying it (yet). Well, except for my "Recipes I’d Like to Try" list. I should really tackle more of those.

    I guess it’s no wonder it takes me weeks and weeks to make progress on some of my personal projects. That doesn’t even count the volunteer work I do or the time I spend with friends, relatives and my husband. Then you have to subtract the eight hours of sleep I get each night.

    I think I need longer days. Or more days per week. Or the ability to pull myself away from distractions. Yeah, that third thing would probably be best.

  • Average Jane’s Limited Influence

    I’ve done fairly well when it comes to keeping in touch with the friends I’ve met at various stages of my life. E-mail helps a great deal with that.

    Thus, I have a large and ever-growing group of friends and associates that I invite to my annual parties and try to see individually or in small groups as often as I can.

    One thing I’ve learned: I may be a decent networker, but I’m definitely not an influencer.

    Even with 200+ people to draw from, I can’t ever seem to initiate any significant activities. The time I tried to get everyone to go see my cousin play at a blues festival at a much-beloved local roadhouse: nobody showed but me and my dad.  Even my big parties are ignored by many of my friends year after year.

    This Saturday, my community service organization is holding a fundraising lunch at a local steakhouse where all of the money collected will go to a battered women’s shelter. The restaurant is donating the meals and the ticket prices are very reasonable for the amount of food involved.

    I e-mailed everyone I know about this event and put it in my company’s daily e-mail newsletter. My goal was to sell 25 tickets. Heck, it’s close to Valentine’s Day! What better time to go out for steak (or chicken or salmon)?

    One of my friends bought six tickets. Another bought three. My sister and her husband are going. My husband and I are going. Except for one person, everyone else I e-mailed responded with stony silence and I heard nary an inquiry from the two days (actually four days, if you count my pre-Christmas attempt) that the listing ran in our company newsletter.

    I’m not upset or anything – I just wish I could be more effective at getting others to support some of the causes that I believe in. As one of my favorite Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey says, "I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king because I like people to do what I say."

    Don’t we all!

  • Average Jane Watches the Super Bowl

    I went to a lovely Super Bowl party last night hosted by Cagey and her family. Also in attendance were Dorothy and her family. Before the game began, the men talked about work, the kids played and the bloggers discussed plans for attending the various BlogHer conferences this year.

    It was a good game and I was glad the Colts won. However, as someone who works in the advertising business, I found the commercials rather disappointing. I didn’t take notes, so I’m finding it hard to think of more than a handful that stood out in any way.

    So how about a recipe? My contribution to the game day snackfest was a plate of:

    Coconut Lime Bars

    Crust:
    1 cup butter, softened
    1/2 cup sugar
    2 cups flour
    1/2 cup unsweetened, large flake coconut

    Filling:
    4 eggs
    1 cup sugar
    1/4 cup flour
    2 limes, juiced
    Zest of one lime
    1 drop green food coloring

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Cream together butter, 2 cups flour, 1/2 cup sugar and coconut flakes. Press evenly into 9" x 13" pan (I used my BakersEdge pan). Bake for 15-20 minutes.

    In a separate bowl, whisk together 1 cup sugar, 1/4 cup flour, lime juice and zest, eggs and food coloring. Pour over baked crust and return to oven to bake an additional 20 minutes. After the bars have cooled, sprinkle with powdered sugar and cut into 2" squares.

    * * * * * * *

    Everyone seemed to really like this variation on lemon bars. I’m sure I’ll make them again.

    So how was your weekend?

  • Average Jane Loves Amazon.com

    There’s a simple little meme going around with the theme, "When did you lose your Amazon virginity?" I ran across it on verbatim by way of 50 Books.

    My current Amazon account says that my first order was a DVD of Office Space on September 15, 1999.

    I have another Amazon account associated with an old e-mail address that I apparently opened in 2000. My first order on that account was "The Remains of Tom Lehrer" box set of CDs on May 24, 2000. From those two orders, you’d think I never order books from Amazon, but I really do.

    Interestingly enough, when I did a search for my name on Amazon (not in the right place to find my old account, but just in the regular search bar), I found a vanity published book I co-wrote with a concert photographer back in 1994. It showed up listed as a "rare oversized soft cover" book which sold for $85.

    I still have two copies of it in my portfolio, so it’s nice to know that I own something I could sell for $85 if I ever get short of ready cash.

    So when was your first Amazon order and what did you buy?

  • Average Jane Adds a Band Member

    A quick perusal of my blog archives shows that I’ve been involved with my current band project since last May. In that time, I’ve written the lyrics to seven songs, we’ve recorded them, and now we’re in the process of re-recording them all with higher quality gear in the remodeled studio.

    We have been searching for a bass player the entire time with absolutely no luck. In my town, bass players are worth their weight in gold and every online bulletin board is filled with "bass player wanted" ads. Unfortunately, many of the ads placed by available bass players sound a lot like this:

    "looking for musicians or a band unlike others i dont give a rats ass
    about age thats bullshit and i wont deal with pot heads ,tired of
    wasting my time so many bands looking for bass players but from what i
    heard they need better singers and guitar players that can play ,man
    what a bunch of noise arnt there any pro players with good pro gear
    that want to play music instead of playing at playing?i love the were
    holding auditions ,what a joke like they got a record deal and are
    touring,enough of my rant im available to play ,all metal /rock if your
    not serious please dont waste my time and i wont waste yours yeah my ad is negative but i
    must have e mailed and talked to a dozen bands and not one has their
    act together its always somthing…"

    Who wouldn’t want to play with that highly literate ray of sunshine?

    When we got together over the weekend, my husband was lamenting our inability to find a bassist. I pointed out that our delays with the studio remodel might have chased off any bass player that we found earlier and I predicted that now that we were ready, a bass player would probably fall in to our laps.

    Sure enough, within a couple of days a friend of ours mentioned that he knew a good heavy metal bass player who was looking for a band. The guy came over last night, liked our stuff, and pretty much joined on the spot. Once we finish our songs and add a few more, choose a name, and bring in a rhythm guitarist, we should be ready to start playing shows no later than early spring.

    However, I think I can guarantee that I’ll never go on stage looking like this again:

    80s_metal_jane