Average Jane

Author: Average Jane

  • Average Jane Is So Lazy…

    I know, I know.  Two memes in a row is really too many.  However, I have a lot of work to do today and I need to get out of here early.  I’m going to do us all a favor by cutting out some of the questions.

    Incidentally, I did make it to the gym yesterday morning for my first workout in a long time.  My knees hurt today, and also my calves.  And my back.  And my glutes.  I’ll go back for more punishment on Saturday morning, though.

    1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
    "Their language is Greek in origin, but has been greatly simplified and is no more difficult to learn than English.”

    2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch.
    The plastic bowl from which I ate kettle corn for dinner a couple of nights ago.

    3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
    "Lost" on Wednesday night, followed by "Invasion" and the tail end of "The Daily Show."

    4) Without looking, guess what time it is.
    7:15 a.m.

    5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
    7:23 a.m.

    6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
    The washing machine going through a spin cycle and a cat’s claws clicking on the hardwood floor as she walks by.

    7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
    Last night, walking from the garage into the house.

    8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
    Doris’ blog (which is where I found this meme).

    9) What are you wearing?
    Jeans, tennis shoes and a long-sleeved t-shirt with a short-sleeved t-shirt layered over it.

    10) Did you dream last night?
    Not that I recall.

    11) When did you last laugh?
    Last night, hanging out with two of my friends after a Pampered Chef party.

    12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
    A Georgia O’Keeffe print, a surreal acrylic painting called "Bluegrass Rhinos" by Neil Cannon, a horizontal Asian-looking print featuring lots of insects, a framed mirror, and a large metal sculpture of a carousel horse.

    13) Seen anything weird lately?
    I’m wracking my brain, but I can’t think of anything particularly weird that’s caught my attention of late.

    14) What do you think of this quiz?
    It’s giving me a really easy blog entry to end the week.

    15) What is the last film you saw?
    "Nanny McPhee" – twice last weekend.

  • Average Jane Gets Tagged

    I should have known someone would get me with a variation on this meme sooner or later.  I’ve been tagged by Huts, of In Flux.

    Remove
    the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up
    one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

    1) doris
    2) Radmila
    3) Riri
    4) In Flux
    5) Average Jane

    Next select five people to tag

    1)  Goofy Girl
    2)  Dorothy
    3)  Pharmgirl
    4)  Cagey
    5)  Me

    What were you doing 10 years ago?

    I had been married for a little more than a year and we already lived in our "starter house," which is still our house now.  I’m pretty sure I still worked a 3:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. shift, which meant I stayed up almost all night, slept late every day and sometimes rolled into work without bothering to comb my hair or change out of what I’d worn to bed.  Good times.
     

    What were you doing 1 year ago?

    I’m going to cheat and check my blog archives.  It seems that this time last year I had pinkeye, we had a huge snowstorm and I was doing a lot of account service work at my job.

    Five snacks you enjoy:

    1) Ice cream
    2) Orville Redenbacher microwave kettle corn
    3) Sharp cheddar squares with crackers
    4) Veggies and ranch dip
    5) Hummus and pita bread

    Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

    Here are some of the songs my band does right now:
    1) Hell Bent for Leather, Judas Priest
    2) Flight of Icarus, Iron Maiden
    3) Day of the Eagle, Robin Trower
    4) Little Dreamer, Van Halen
    5) You Give Love a Bad Name, Bon Jovi

    Five things you would do if you were a millionaire :

    (I’m going to assume multimillionaire here)
    1) Pay off all our debts
    2) Buy a nicer house and build a recording studio in it
    3) Put my band members on salary and work on music all the time
    4) Do the same for my husband and his band members
    5) Give money to charities

    Five bad habits:

    1) Procrastination
    2) Spending too much time online
    3) Crabbiness (especially to my poor, long-suffering husband)
    4) Not doing the dishes immediately after meals
    5) Leaving my plants without water until they get droopy

    Five things you like doing:

    1) Singing
    2) Writing
    3) Hanging out with friends and family
    4) Listening to music (cranked up loud!)
    5) Playing games

    Five things you would never wear again:

    1) My giant, AquaNet shellacked, ’90s mullet
    2) Khaki pants with pleats
    3) Non low-rise pants or jeans
    4) Halter top
    5) Spandex pants

    Five favorite toys:

    1) Laptop
    2) iPod Shuffle
    3) Thinking Putty
    4) KitchenAid mixer
    5) Cuisinart

  • Average Jane Stays Up

    My sleep schedule this week is all screwy and doesn’t appear to be getting any better.  I keep staying up far later than I ought to and then getting up at the crack of dawn anyway. 

    Every morning I wake up with the most recent songs I wrote running through my head, which tells me that I’m not quite finished working out the melodies.  Ever heard of a recording session as an insomnia cure?  Me neither, but that might be what it takes.

    I should really use some of this extra awake time at the gym.  It’s open 24/7, so I could go either in the early morning or late evening.  Instead, I plant myself on the couch in front of the TV with the laptop on my legs until the battery gets uncomfortably hot and I have to take a break.  Man, I’m lazy.

    I feel as though I have a pretty good handle on all of the things I’m supposed to be doing these days…except exercise.  Do you have any advice for a chronic gym procrastinator?  Is there some cool, new class that I might like?  Is there a secret to establishing and keeping up a workout schedule that I don’t know about?  I’ll never flatten my abs and tighten my triceps at this rate, so I’ll take all the help I can get!

  • Average Jane’s Tuesday Roundup

    I really did intend to eventually post something on Monday, but then I figured that the weekend bonus post kind of let me off the hook.  I’m probably wrong, but that’s how it goes.

    So…the Super Bowl.  Game:  So thoroughly rigged that you could almost see the ropes and pulleys.  Seriously, playing "Bittersweet Symphony" as the Seahawks came out?!?  Gee, who do you think is going to win?

    Halftime show:  I liked the choice of the Rolling Stones, and I’m not that big of a Stones fan.  I hope I end up running back and forth across a huge stage and singing rock songs at the top of my lungs when I’m 63.

    Commercials:  eh.  Our vote for best tagline was "Let your man out" from the Full Throttle commercial near the beginning of the game.  We all repeated it merrily every time the announcer mentioned someone needing to have a groin injury taped up.  It reminded me of a bass player in an old band of mine whose favorite quip was, "It’s so nice out, I think I’ll leave it out."  Ah, male humor.

    I liked the two Ameriquest commercials, but not quite as much as last year’s one with the cat, the butcher knife and the spaghetti sauce.  The Budweiser one with the Clydesdale foal was cute, but it was emotionally manipulative enough to make me a tad resentful.

    The earlier part of my weekend was fairly productive.  I wrote the lyrics for two songs and we did some recordings at practice that I will sing over in our home studio later this week.  I’m planning to enter us in a battle of the bands, so I need a three- or four-song demo by next week. 

    Now you’re caught up on my life, dull as it is.  What kinds of fun things do you have planned for this week?

  • Don’t Say Average Jane Never Gave You Anything

    If you’re:

    • A "Weird Al" Yankovic fan who can’t wait until his next album comes out, and
    • A "Lost" fan who’s disappointed that there was no new episode this week…

    Do I have a treat for you!

    Lost Rhapsody.  Enjoy.

  • This Weekend With Average Jane

    When I got to work today, there was a fortune cookie slip on my desk that said, "Wake up.  You are under the lucky star now."  Well, isn’t that a relief!

    Aside from dragging two cats to the vet and dragging two enormous new PA speakers to band practice, the only thing I have planned this weekend is to attend a Super Bowl party. 

    I’m going to make and bring benne wafers.  After a discussion yesterday with my friend, The Cowboy, I have a notion that I might be able to keep them from sticking to the pan this time if I use a silicone liner sheet.  I’ll submit my report on that Monday.

    As someone who’s more interested in advertising than football, it’s likely I’ll continue my tradition of paying more attention to the commercials than to the game itself.  I need to be able to hold my own during Monday’s water cooler discussions.

    So what are your weekend plans?  Anything interesting and fun going on?

  • Average Jane’s Lost Day

    I think they forgot to tell me about one side effect of the anaesthetic:  ridiculously unfounded optimism.  Yes, after I wrote yesterday’s post and had a sandwich, I went to lie down and ended up taking a nap that lasted…all day.

    There was no writing, reading or even TV watching until "Veronica Mars" came on at 8:00 p.m.

    Since I have nothing new to say, I’ll leave you with an interesting article I found via Slashdot the other day:  Putting Star Wars to the MythBusters Test.  Enjoy!

  • Outpatient Average Jane

    Well, I’m back from having my endoscopy with strict instructions not to go back to work, drive, or otherwise exert myself.  Sure, twist my arm!

    I don’t really feel like taking a nap right now, but the demerol has left me feeling a little woozy.  On the other hand, it took away the headache, backache and cramps I had when I woke up this morning, so I’m not complaining.

    The only part of the procedure I remember is getting bitter, banana-flavored numbing spray shot into the back of my throat twice.  After that, they zonked me out and I woke up in a different room about 45 minutes later with my husband standing next to me. 

    The doctor showed me a sheet of six beautiful, full color photos of various parts of my insides.  She explained what each thing was, where and why she took certain biopsies, yadda, yadda, yadda.  (The yadda, yadda, yadda part is why I’m glad my husband was there to hear what she had to say.)  The lab results won’t come back for another 7-10 days, so I really don’t know much more now than I did before.

    Before I underwent the endoscopy, I told the doctor to take it easy on my vocal cords on the way down because I’d be needing them for singing.  She made me promise to give her an autographed CD when we get one finished, which I thought was rather charming of her.

    So that’s that story.  I’ll probably spend the rest of the day napping, surfing the ‘net and maybe trying to work on song lyrics.  I’d say that’s not a bad way to spend a Wednesday.

  • What is Average Jane Doing?

    This week is already headed down a path that promises minimal excitement.  Here are a few things I have planned (aside from work, of course):

    • Songwriting – I’ve promised to have two more songs finished by Saturday’s band practice and now my husband and a couple of his friends have asked me to write lyrics to a song they recorded over the weekend.
    • Reading – I’m about 2/3 of the way through "Assassination Vacation" and I think I’ll read "The Kite Runner" next.
    • Endoscopy – Tomorrow morning they’re going to have a peek at my innards to try to figure out why my heartburn persists despite daily medication.  Extra bonus:  I get to go home and sleep off the anaesthetic all day!
    • Errands – I’m also getting my car repaired, taking two cats to the vet, trying to remember to schedule a haircut and color appointment, trying to remember to buy salt for the water softener, etc.

    I suppose I’ve done quite enough for one day to drag you down to my level of ennui.  I’ll try to write something more interesting tomorrow.  Should I post first thing in the morning or wait to report on the endoscopy and hope that I can be coherent?

  • Average Jane Looks Back

    Today AdRants mentioned a new commercial for Clorox that explores how laundry has changed over the years, and it made me think of visiting my great-aunt when I was growing up.

    Aunt Edith had the most fascinating washing machine I’d ever seen.  It had an open agitator drum for washing the clothes and washtub of rinse water right next to it, separated by a wringer.  She would take the wet clothes from the wash water and run them through the wringer into the rinse water.  Once they’d been rinsed to her satisfaction, she’d run them through the wringer again and put them in a basket to be taken outside and hung on the line.  She did have a gas dryer, but she only used it in the wintertime and for towels that would have been too rough and scratchy if hung outside.

    I loved to watch her do laundry when I visited.  She would let me feed clothes into the wringer – carefully!  The risk of pinching my fingers in the rollers made it that much more exciting.  It was also an interesting novelty to hang clothes on the line.  I’m sure I made more trips outside to check the laundry for dryness than was strictly necessary.

    It never occurred to me to wonder why she still used such an old-fashioned laundry setup.  It made perfect sense:  why change something that works just fine?  "If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it."

    Many of my close relatives, including my great-aunt, my grandmother and even my dad, lived through the Great Depression and took its lessons to heart for the rest of their lives.  Every time I darn one of my old socks, turn off extra lights in the next room, or make a stewing hen stretch into three meals, their influence comes through…and I appreciate it.