Author: Average Jane

Average Jane Takes An Unenviable Vacation
The combination of ample unused vacation days at work and lots of stuff to do around the house led me to take off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week. Here are a few of the things I've accomplished so far:
- Cleaned out all of the drawers and cupboards in my kitchen. Thanks to our recurring mouse problem, I ended up washing everything in several of the drawers. I also threw out a ridiculous amount of stale pantry items with "use by" dates ranging from 2008 forward.
- Did a full refrigerator and freezer cleanout. Oh, the expired condiments!
- Purchased a tulip poplar tree and planted it where the old locust tree had been. After I bought the tree, I had to go back with my husband's vehicle to pick it up later in the day because it was far too tall to fit in my tiny hybrid. Even in the SUV, I was pretty cozy with the branches as I drove home.
- Clipped all our cats' claws.
- Stopped by a veterinary office to pick up meds for my animal rescue group. Then I went and gave pills to three kittens at the store where I volunteer. I only lost a little bit of blood in the process.
- Laundry, of course.
- Brunch or lunch with different friends every day, just to have something to look forward to.
While I had the extra time, I scheduled Toby for a dental and ear cleaning yesterday morning. I cannot begin to tell you how much I like this new veterinary office. When I dropped off the dog, the doctor who would be handling the procedure checked him over thoroughly and took a good amount of time explaining exactly what would be done.

After the surgery, which involved removing one of his upper canines (the poor dog only has six teeth left now), the vet called and talked through every step of what he'd done to clear out Toby's ear, take care of his abcessed tooth and the complications that arose from it, and remove the two skin tags on his back that I'd asked them to take care of. Then he went through all of the post-care instructions in great detail despite the fact that they were written down for me to take home as well.

Toby's ears had been so clogged way deep inside that it's highly probable that his hearing is now much improved. The doctor must have been impressed with how much gunk he removed because he saved it for me to see. I took a picture to show my husband but I'll forego posting it online. You're welcome!

I brought Toby home yesterday in the late afternoon and gave him a pain pill around supper time. Today he's supposed to be about 90% recovered but still on pain meds and antibiotics for a while. Right now he's asleep, poor little guy.

So now I have three days left, which doesn't sound like very much considering my continuing to-do list, which includes:
- Take everything out of the pantry closet and put it all back so that more stuff will fit. I'm going to see if the hardware store has one of those racks for hanging brooms and other long-handled implements on the wall. That would go a long way toward uncluttering in there.
- Clean out the closet, drawers and shelves in my dressing room. The closet is jammed with my husband's stuff from last year's bedroom remodel. He needs to go through it and decide what he wants to keep. I have gotten to the point where I can't put away all my clean laundry, so it's time to cull my clothing collection. Then there are all of the lurching stacks of books to be dealt with…
- Go through my home office, clear off the surfaces, file things as needed, and throw away the rest. I still have a big tub of junk that never got sorted out when I moved into my current office space in the house. I was trying to look back on my blog to see exactly when that was and ran across a post from 2007 that also mentioned my need to deal with my "Big Tubs O' Stuff." The good news is that I'm down to one now.
- Scrub and seal the slate floor in the kitchen. (This is another item that I'm constantly declaring that I need to do. Apparently blogging about it is not enough to get me to follow through.)
- Clean and mop the basement floor in the cats' area. Ick.
- Hang up a fluorescent light fixture above my laundry table in the basement.
I'm pretty sure a few of these aren't going to make the cut before I run out of weekend, especially since I also have two cat shifts at the pet store to squeeze in there, but I think the majority will get done if I can physically do it. My back is starting to bug me a bit, so I need to do a little pre-housework yoga and foam rollering to make sure I'm up for it.

Wish me luck!
October 5, 2012
“Frankenweenie” Review: Tim Burton Makes Average Jane Cry

Because I blog about my pets, I was invited to a free sneak preview of Frankenweenie. I didn't hesitate for an instant before I accepted because I'd been waiting for a full-length version ever since I saw the short in 1984 at a science fiction convention.

When my husband and I arrived at the theater last night, I was a little concerned when I saw that they were handing out 3-D glasses. My last 3-D experience was pretty miserable, but I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

I will eliminate any suspense about the viewing experience right now: the 3-D was spectacular. I don't have much to compare it with, but I'd say that stop-motion seems particularly well suited for 3-D and the fact that the movie is in black and white seemed to add to the effect.

One of the coolest things about "Frankenweenie" is that it's filled with overt references to classic black and white horror films. The main character's name is Victor Frankenstein and his classmates look very familiar from the Universal Pictures and Hammer Films canon and they even range into Godzilla movie territory.

The story is about a boy who is inspired by his science teacher (a dead ringer for Vincent Price) to try to reanimate his beloved dead dog, Sparky, Frankenstein's monster style. Even knowing that from the beginning, it's still heartbreaking when poor Sparky meets his initial demise and darned if the poignant moments don't continue throughout the movie. I'm pretty sure every single person in the audience was sniffling and dabbing his or her eyes on the way out of the theater. I know I was and so was my husband.

So obviously the movie has tons of heart and I can forgive it for making most of the "science" a lot more magical than real-life science. The characters are really well rendered, both in their animation and in the voice characterizations. Sparky's animation was particularly convincing—his mannerisms and movements were perfectly doglike.

I really loved the movie and I would see it again and probably buy the DVD to add to my Halloween movie collection alongside "The Nightmare Before Christmas."

Now I'm going to go hug my own pointy-snouted dog.

October 4, 2012
Ungraceful Average Jane

Yesterday morning I was out taking Toby on his post-breakfast walk. We had just reached the end of the yard and I was stepping onto the concrete driveway when my ankle twisted and—just like that—I was on the ground.

It's always a shock to go from casually strolling to crumpled on the pavement. I'd caught myself with the heel of my right hand, so I didn't faceplant, despite the fact that the driveway slopes downward pretty dramatically. I had to sit there a bit to do a body inventory and decide whether it was a good idea to try to get back up.

In the meantime, Toby was ambling around the yard, tethered to the leash I still had in my hand. I think he was wondering why I felt it was necessary to sit down at that juncture and how long it was going to be before he got the treat that he had earned.

The side of my right calf was a little scraped and bruised, but I concluded that I was largely uninjured. I carefully stood back up, threw Toby's poop bag into the bucket at the foot of the driveway, and went inside.

The scary thing is that it was such a routine little trip outside that I wasn't at all prepared to get help if I'd needed it. I was basically dressed in my pajamas, I had no phone with me, and my husband was already asleep with two closed doors and two loud fans between us. If I'd needed assistance, I would have had to sit or lie there and hope that one of our neighbors happened to come by and notice that I was having a problem.

As it turned out, I escaped the entire incident almost completely unharmed except for the aforementioned leg bruise (which, honestly, might have already been there) and an incredibly minor scrape on my hand. All I can say is that I'm going to try to be more careful in the future. We'll see how that goes.

Photo credit: Christian Guthier

September 28, 2012
Average Jane’s Dogshame

So you know about Dogshaming, right? Possibly the funniest blog I've discovered in a long time. Don't click the link unless you have lots of time on your hands because you'll be reading for hours.

This post is not about Toby doing anything for which he needs to be ashamed. (Not that he doesn't do some of those things, but that's another story.) No, this is about me being ashamed that I let him get ridiculously fat again.

Today I went to an Italian Greyhound playdate arranged by Kansas/Missouri Italian Greyhound Rescue. Even before I took him, I was fretting on Facebook that he was awfully porky. Sure enough, when I got there, he was by far the most corpulent of all of the several dozen dogs there. No other dog in the group was even close.

As soon as we arrived, people started exclaiming about how "solid" he was. I got well-meaning advice about thyroid testing. And I could see it plainly. I'd known he was overweight, but until I had other Italian Greyhounds to compare him to directly, I didn't realize he was that overweight.

That means it's time for decisive action. We did our 3.4 mile walking route this morning, which I was already planning to reinstate as a regular daily thing. I also swapped out the 1/2 cup scoop in his food container for a 1/3 cup one.

Toby will never look like the fine-boned, show-quality IGs. He's taller and has sturdier legs and a much wider chest than most of them. However, there were a couple of dogs in attendance that had a similar build to his without the extra chub, so it was a nice preview of what I could possibly achieve with him.

I'm sorry, little dog man. We're going to get you moving, make sure your thyroid is working right and work on finding some lower calorie treats to reward you when you're good. Obviously I'm still figuring out this dog owner thing.

September 23, 2012
Average Jane’s Brief Career in Political Advertising

I read this article on Jezebel yesterday about actresses who play "concerned moms" in political ads and it reminded me of the time I played the "concerned child" in a radio spot as a kid.

The background is that my mom ran a small advertising agency in the late '70s and early '80s. Occasionally she'd put me in a commercial and in this instance, the client was a group seeking to halt the overturn of the "blue laws" in Missouri.

I only had one line, but it was the opener of the spot, "Oh mommy, do you have to go to work on Sunday?"

No points for subtlety there.

I remember getting to leave school in the middle of the day to go to the studio for the recording. My mom coached me on my line all the way there, which is probably why I can still hear my young voice in my head saying it.

As an adult who enjoys the option of being able to purchase liquor 365 days a year, I must say I'm glad that her client ultimately failed in their quest to keep keep Sunday sales illegal.

The only other memorable ad I appeared in was memorable because it was so incredibly mortifying. It was a TV spot for a car dealer that involved me and the handsome son of one of my mom's friends playing a young teen couple on a first date having their first kiss at the front door. Not only was I a glasses-wearing nerd of the first order, it actually was my first kiss ever. Anyone watching the spot must have thought, "Ugh, he could do a lot better than her."

The only reason the memory doesn't still make me flush with embarrassment is that 30-some years have passed in the interim.

So that was the beginning and end of my acting career. To this day I can't deliver a scripted line without sounding stilted and awful, which is one of the reasons that all of my speaking engagements are so loosey-goosey. I sound like I'm speaking off the cuff because I'm making it all up as I go along. Really, it's for the best.

September 21, 2012
Improving Average Jane
I've hit an interesting convergence point in the past couple of weeks and it's making me stop and evaluate some things and look for opportunities to make changes.

The first thing that happened is that one of my co-workers proposed that we start a Happiness Project at the office. Despite the fact that I'm generally pretty goshdarned happy, I joined up right away. In our first meeting, I put together a list of some things that I think would improve my life. I also stole a few things from other people that I hadn't thought of. Here's my list:
- Health – Start my morning walks again, do one yoga class per week, have as many vegetarian meals as possible and schedule one deep-tissue massage each month.
- Free time – Set aside at least one weekday evening per week and one full weekend day per month and keep them unscheduled.
- Work – Become more engaged with my co-workers and the company culture. I've gotten into a bad habit of just working, working, working and then going home, sometimes with nary a conversation all day long. That needs to change.
- Home – Spend more time with my husband and pets. Get (and stay) caught up on household chores and projects.
- Self – Less time online, more time hanging out with friends and family. Read the ever-growing stack of books on my coffee table. Find more activities to do out in the world. Bring more creativity into my blogging.
One of ones I stole from someone else was: commute in silence. I've been driving without the radio on for a couple of weeks now and it's really been relaxing and peaceful. I'm exposed to enough sound and fury the rest of the time, so it's nice to get a break and have a more visual driving experience.

Not long after I made my list, one of my favorite bloggers, Alice Bradley, offered an online class called The Practice of Writing, designed to "jumpstart your creative life in five weeks." I didn't even have to read the whole page before I was ready to sign up. And I did.

If you're one of my loyal (long-suffering) blog readers, I think you'll agree that my writing isn't exactly inspired these days. When I read back through my early posts, there's just more personality and humor and spark. If anyone can help me rediscover that voice, it's Alice.

I'm making baby steps toward my goals, but just the mere fact of having them written down makes me more aware of them and more likely to see them through. Let's hope we all reap the benefits.
September 20, 2012
Average Jane Gets Caffeinated

Today I took part in the Kansas City Caffeine Crawl. I expected a fairly routine round of visits to coffee shops, but it was actually much more varied and interesting than that.

It started with a demonstration by Stubbie from E.F. Hobbs of how you can roast small batches of coffee at home using small appliances from a thrift store.

We all sampled Kyoto-style cold brewed coffee while we watched. They'd been brewing it since Wednesday!

They divided us into four groups and we all boarded school buses to visit six places each.

I went with Toast and MarianLiberryan.

Dr. Dave and Alisha were in our group as well. Our first stop was at Quay Coffee in the River Market for a pour-over demonstration and sampling. Someone from the Farmhouse Restaurant was there making French toast for us. Yum!

The next stop was The Roasterie. We toured their plant and sampled coffee that had been processed prior to roasting by three different methods.

By the time we left, I was starting to feel a little buzzed from all the caffeine. Fortunately, our next stop was The Filling Station, which has good sandwiches. I forewent the full tasting of coffee-infused bourbons and beer and ordered lunch instead. I did snag a taste of one of the bourbons and grab one of the chocolate/coffee/bourbon mini cupcakes they offered.

Fortified with a delicious caprese sandwich, I was excited to try Mud Pie Vegan Bakery and Coffeehouse.

The coconut milk chai is perhaps the most delicious drink I've ever had. I could develop a serious addiction to them. They also served a beautiful variety of vegan desserts, but I wasn't really hungry. I managed to eat one strawberry-lemon cupcake, though.

The next stop was Lattéland. We got a lesson on espresso and each tried a single shot paired with a homemade fig pastry. I didn't really dig the straight espresso, but it was interesting to try it.

Our final stop was way out in the suburbs at Revocup. Shop owner Habte Mesfin talked to us about traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremonies and explained the company's goal of improving economic conditions for coffee farmers throughout the world. We were offered different coffees prepared via French press, standard brewing and as espresso. I'd had coffee there before and I knew it would all be good – and it was.

I would show you the photo I took holding one of their adorable espresso cups, but I decided that my manly thumb was too unsightly.

Even though I probably only had the equivalent of about two full cups of coffee, spreading it out throughout the day seemed to intensify the effect. When I got home, I had bursts of house cleaning energy alternating with the desire to lie down. I'm still hoping I can manage to go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

All in all, I had a really nice time and I will definitely go again next year. Kansas City has a very vibrant coffee scene and there are many more coffee shops and roasting facilities I'd like to visit. I'm going to make it a goal to check out some of the ones from Saturday's tour.

Whee!

September 16, 2012
Average Jane Lets Her Geek Flag Fly

Today was fun in ways that brought back lots of memories of my nerdy teen years.

I started out the day working the registration table at the Recruits Convention. Kanga had put out a call for volunteers a couple of months ago and I thought it sounded like fun.

I had the 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. shift and originally I thought I was going to have to leave after that, but it turned out that I had time to stick around and play a couple of games.

First I walked around and checked out some of the larger-scale games. I had no idea what any of them were, but there were some pretty impressive setups.

I didn't really know how I was going to get involved in a game, but then I met someone from the MOKAN Warmachine Group who was doing demos to teach people how to play. As a complete n00b, I was a little vague on the details from the get-go, but I think I understood that we were playing a more fantasy-oriented offshoot of the game.

I took a photo of the playing field while we both still had a reasonable number of combatants left.

I still had my wizard, a big bad-ass dragon thing with a cool name that I've already forgotten, and another little lizard creature who was across the field menacing the other wizard. I eventually won, but considering that my role consisted mainly of throwing dice and deciding which character was going to attack where, I don't take a lot of credit for the victory. Anyway, it was fun and I feel I could get the hang of it if I had additional opportunities to play.

After that, I happened upon a rep from AEG who was demoing a new card game called Smashup that won't be in stores until next month.

He said it would be more fun with a third player, but no one else volunteered and I was there by myself, so we played a two-person game. I also won that round, but I think it's safe to say that he let me win, especially considering that I quickly figured out how to attack him but he never really retaliated. I could see playing this one with the same friends who enjoy Munchkin.

By the time that game wrapped up I was getting hungry, so I decided it was time to go. I'd like to attend again sometime and play more different games. I think I'd be less hesitant to jump in on games if I had a gaming buddy with me next time.

Every time I get the chance to do some tabletop gaming I really enjoy it. I need to make sure our game sessions remain frequent and varied.

There's been talk of starting some kind of campaign-oriented game at my office, which would be fun. We're trying to find a D&D dungeon master or another game master who would be interested in running one for us.

While I was eating lunch and visiting with my sister (who lives close to where the gaming convention was held), I got a text from Becca asking if I wanted to go see the TARDIS with her at Vintage Stock. Uh, yeah!

She loaned me her sonic screwdriver for the photo. I don't know why I'm holding it in the wrong hand.

While we were there, we also ran into Jeremy and Kendall.

There wasn't much to do once we'd gotten in our photo ops, so I headed home and settled in for a nice afternoon nap with the dog and a couple of the cats.

So that was my day of geeky fun. Tomorrow: unleashing the caffeine monster.

September 15, 2012
Average Jane Works from Home

I was feeling under the weather yesterday morning, so I decided to stay home and work from the comfort of my living room.

Everyone else in the house slept the whole time.

I thought it was funny that Dr. Jones crammed his big self onto his favorite toy to sleep. I think I need to buy a new carpet runner for the hallway to increase his floor sleeping options.

Toby and Velvet made the most of the quiet time and zzz'ed out all morning and afternoon. I felt sleepy just looking at them.

It was a pleasant and productive working environment. Best of all, at the end of the day I got to walk into the next room and take a nap in lieu of driving home.

Today I'm feeling much better and I'm heading back to the office. At least I know I don't have to feel guilty about leaving the pets behind. They hardly noticed I was there.

September 12, 2012
Average Jane Brings You Fun, Photos and a Cookbook Winner

What a weekend! I don't know where I got so much energy (coffee would be a good guess), but I packed in a ton of activities.

On Saturday morning I started the day with yoga on the lawn at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art with my friend LuAnn. On my way home, I stopped off for coffee and a bagel and enjoyed them at home while I read and hung out with the dog and cats.

In the early afternoon I made my way to Greek Fest. I couldn't round up anyone to go with me, so I concentrated on getting in a substantial lunch and trying as many foods as I could. I ended up with chicken souvlaki, rice, green beans, spanakopita and a Greek salad. I was way too full for dessert by the time I finished, so I bought two pieces of baklava to take home. Everything was really tasty.

That brings us to the winner of the cookbook giveaway from last weekend. It was entry #4, Donna from Just Me! It's on its way to her in the mail right now. Congratulations, Donna!

Once I got back from the festival I had more time to chill out at home before I needed to do my cat volunteer shift at the pet store. Toby, Dr. Jones, Trillian, Xena and Velvet got lots of attention this weekend, that's for sure.

After I took care of the adoptable kitties, I headed to Cagey's house for dinner and canasta. My partner was Goofy Girl and we did not ultimately win, but we had one really good winning round out of four. The game lasted until after midnight. It's a good thing we took a coffee and dessert break around 10 p.m.

The next morning Toby woke me up bright and early as usual, which meant that I had no problem getting to my sister's Yoga in the Woods class at Unity Village on time at 9:00 a.m. Here's what the sky looked like from the vantage point of lying on my back on the bridge in the woods:

I couldn't stick around for coffee afterwards, though, because I needed to head to Lawrence, Kansas to meet my aunt for lunch. She treated me to a belated birthday lunch at 715 and we got in a nice chat before I had to meet my book club at another nearby restaurant at 2:00 p.m. By the time book club was over, I'd had a total of three cups of coffee, so although I could have used a nap when I got home, it was not to be.

I had enough time in the evening to have a nice restaurant dinner with my husband and chill out at home a bit before I finally crashed.

So I'm a little behind on sleep this week, but I figure I can make it up by going to bed early each evening. It was worth it!

September 10, 2012