Average Jane

Author: Average Jane

  • Average Jane Enjoys Some Very Fine Breakfasts

    If you happened to wonder in passing why I didn't post or spend much time on social media last week, it's because my husband and I spent the past seven days on vacation in Nashville, Tennessee.

    I fully intend to get a week's worth of posts out of our adventures, but today I'm starting with what I believe is a very logical focus on breakfast. Specifically pancakes.

    We stopped for pancakes before leaving town on Monday morning.

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    That was a warmup for the pancake prize that would await us when we reached our destination. We visited Pancake Pantry twice on our visit, both times during the week and in the late morning or early afternoon to avoid the notorious crowds.

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    On our first visit I went for the pecan pancakes. Always a good choice.

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    On our second visit, I went with the traditional buttermilk pancakes. I might be drooling a little right now.

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    In both instances, it was almost embarrassing how quickly I inhaled my breakfast. 

    I think I've figured out one of Pancake Pantry's secrets: vanilla in the syrup. Now if only I knew how to make pancakes as soft and fluffy as theirs.

    So eating played a big role in this vacation. However, we did a lot of other fun stuff as well and I'll tell you about it throughout the week and try to confine most of the food talk to Yelp, except where it leads to a discussion of celebrity sightings (foreshadowing!).

    Meanwhile, I'm off to figure out what to have for breakfast today.

  • Average Jane Feels Old

    PelvisI haven't mentioned this up to now because I hate for my blog to become a repository of my whining, but a couple of weeks ago I had the distinct displeasure of experiencing what is colloquially referred to as "throwing your back out."

    In my case, that meant my sacroiliac joint popped out of place on the left side, resulting in immediate and excruciating pain. What physical feat was I attempting when it happened? Well, leaning over in the shower to wash my left foot. Later my doctor would tell me that the shower is a common site for such injuries. Who knew?

    I couldn't get in to see my doctor or massage therapist until almost four days after the incident. In the meantime, I could barely sit down or stand up and it hurt to roll over in bed. I was popping Alleve every eight hours like clockwork (including in the middle of the night) and slathering myself with Biofreeze.

    The doctor popped the joint back into place and worked on the overtaxed muscles affected by the injury. She described it as a sprain and told me to keep icing for at least another week. 

    Later that day I had an hour of deep-tissue massage that would have been incredibly painful if I hadn't just spent the last three-and-a-half days grimacing every time I made a slight movement.

    All of the therapy helped immediately, and yet my left hip still hurts and gets stiff when I sit or lie down too long. With a mid-decade birthday coming up this year, I can't help but start to feel my age when something like this happens.

    However, now that the dog is well again and my hip is much better, I think the key will be resuming our walks. I'll build back some muscle and, I hope, head off any future problems.

    Now excuse me while I go apply some liniment…

    Photo credit: Rob Swatski

  • Average Jane’s Barely Competent Predators

    IMG_1814Last November, I was confronted with the evidence that we had a mouse problem in our house for the first time since we've lived there. I can't say I really did anything proactive about it, but you'd think that with four cats and a dog wandering about the premises, the solution would be pretty obvious.

    Fast forward to last night. We'd gone over to leech off our friends' HBO subscription watch "Game of Thrones" with some friends and when we got home and walked into the kitchen, we could see that Dr. Jones was very engaged with something in the corner. I immediately suspected that he'd found a mouse, and a flick of the light switch confirmed it.

    Meanwhile, all the activity got Xena and Velvet's attention as well. It wasn't long before all three cats gathered in the kitchen to, I assumed, make short work of the interloper.

    Instead, they managed to let it escape behind the refrigerator.

    There was no more sign of it for the rest of the evening, so I eventually went to bed…but only after carefully checking the sheets to make sure no one had left a mouse carcass "gift" there. Xena likes to bring her toys into our bed, so it was a valid concern.

    When I woke up this morning, my husband told me that the cats had managed to kill the mouse during the night and he had handled the disposal. I appreciated that, especially since our division of labor back in the old days when we still had an outdoor cat was that I dealt with mammals and he cleaned up the dead birds.

    Who knows how many more mice are lurking in our walls and cupboards, but at least the cats have gotten the hang of their varmint killing role. If the critters know what's good for them, they'll leave now. Ish.

  • Average Jane Breaks Her Streak

    I would have put this in my sidebar if it had been grammatically correctYesterday I decided once and for all that this year I would be skipping the BlogHer Conference for the first time since it began in 2005. I am disappointed beyond all measure, but the hard truth is that I just cannot afford the travel expenses, especially since it's in expensive New York City again.

    My husband offered to give me the money for the trip, but honestly it would be better spent repairing things around the house, having Toby and Velvet's teeth cleaned, etc. That doesn't even count the upcoming added expenses we have every summer, such as lawn mowing and higher electric bills.

    I love the BlogHer community and every year I look forward to seeing the friends I've made among the bloggers. This year I'll have to content myself with following the action on Twitter.

    This isn't the only travel opportunity I'm turning down this year, but I'm fortunate to be able to take a road trip with my husband this spring and I will be attending another blogging conference in the early summer.

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed that circumstances will allow me to jump back in for BlogHer 2013.

    If you're interested in purchasing my BlogHer full conference pass at the early bird cost, email me and we'll talk.

  • Average Jane and Cat Hair Gene Simmons

    You may recall last year when I began embracing my crazy cat lady destiny by accepting a free FURminator and sculpting my cats' fur into little fuzzy creatures. At the end of that post I promised no more cat fur sculptures, but guess what…I LIED! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

    This year they upped the ante with a celebrity cat fur sculpture theme and I couldn't resist participating again. Also, because I'm already stocked up on FURminators, I'm going to give one away on this very blog post, if you can be patient enough to read to the end.

    So without further ado, here is my rendition of Gene Simmons from KISS, brought to life via the media of free-range egg, Sharpie, one of my old belts, and black cat fur:

    My cat fur and egg sculpture of Gene Simmons

    I know it's cheating to have him wearing sunglasses, but eyes are hard to draw. See also: my artistic choice not to have him in stage makeup or with his tongue sticking out. Naturally, one of my fellow artistes (who ended up being a contest finalist) had to get all show-offy and make this:

    Gene Simmons made almost entirely of cat fur

    Also show-offy (and another finalist), Mr. Scrubby, who claims to have built Conan O'Brien out of his own fur, despite his obvious lack of opposable thumbs. I think his moms helped. 

    Cat fur Conan O'Brien and Mr. Scrubby

    You can check out the entire gallery on Facebook and vote for your favorite finalist.

    So on to the giveaway. I have for you, the Large Cat Short Hair deShedding Tool, a $50.99 value. 

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    They didn't ask me to say this, but these things are amazing! I especially love that little blue flange you see there, because it serves to push the fur off the teeth of the comb and into the trash. If you've ever dealt with staticky hair flying everywhere while grooming a cat with a regular brush or comb, you'll know this is an incredibly handy and desirable feature.

    To win, leave a comment on this post telling me about the pet you have that sheds the most. I'll pick a random winner on Friday, April 27th, which makes perfect sense because it's National Hairball Awareness Day. Make sure you include a valid email address so I can contact you if you're selected.

    UPDATE: Contest is now closed. See winner here.

    Disclosure: Prize was provided to me at no charge by FURMinator, but I will be paying for shipping to prize winner. I'm not a finalist for the big prize (a $1,000 donation to a cat-related animal charity), but I am eligible for a $150 Visa gift card drawing as part of this program.

  • Average Jane Is So Hot Right Now

    MugatuLate last summer, the central air conditioning unit for the main part of our house broke…again. We'd already been told that it was likely worn out and in need of replacement. We figured we'd deal with it this this year when it warmed up, but we never would have guessed that we'd be dealing with 87°F temperatures on the first day in April.

    So our house is super hot and stuffy, even though we've had the windows open and the attic fan on. We got a quote for a new, energy efficient a/c and the installer comes tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. 

    The past few weeks have been budget busters. Between car repairs for both our vehicles, vet bills and a new a/c, thousands upon thousands of dollars have fled our accounts. We're responsible for a one-household, mini economic stimulus centered in our own county.

    Of course, restoring the house to livable temperatures is worth the expense, just as it was worth it to fix our cars and look after the dog's health. I just wish we hadn't had to do so many of those things all at once.

  • The Latest Sickie at Average Jane’s House

    IMG_2158Over the past several weeks, Toby'd had a couple of "off" days where he wouldn't eat his breakfast or dinner and instead bummed around looking rather lethargic. Then before I could take him to the vet, he'd snap out of it and be fine the next day, so I figured perhaps he'd just gotten into something he shouldn't have.

    I should have realized he was actually sick when his level of house training started to decline. On Saturday night, he developed a horrible cough that was alarming enough that I went ahead and took him to the emergency vet clinic at 3:00 a.m., knowing that my own vet wouldn't be open until Monday.

    Eleventy-bazillion dollars later, I had a diagnosis of what I think could safely be described as "doggie bronchitis," possibly caused by the bacteria in his mouth from his typical Italian Greyhound periodontal disease. (Note to self: brush his teeth more often.)

    The vet x-rayed him and did bloodwork. Pneumonia was ruled out and his blood chemistry looked good across the board. They sent him home with antibiotic pills and liquid cough medicine that makes him so sleepy that I've only ever given him a half dose.

    Getting the pills down him was a challenge and I said so on Twitter, which prompted Geekaren to suggest peanut butter. I encased the next pill in a ball of peanut butter, wrapped it in a little bit of bread and gave it to Toby about halfway through his dinner.

    He ate it right up and didn't even attempt to spit out the pill. Now he's so excited about his twice daily "peanut butter treat" that it's hard to get him to start eating so he can get the potentially stomach-upsetting pill on top of a bed of other food.

    His cough is much better, which is good because he hates the liquid medicine (and also, I spilled some of it).

    When we got home on Sunday morning (it took a while), he was still zonked from whatever sedative they gave him for the x-rays, so he lay very still and I was able to make up most of the sleep I'd lost. On Sunday night he slept restlessly and pressed himself against my chest all night long so that I woke up with both arms numb. Last night he finally had a normal sleep and he seems to feel much better, except for a little coughing and wheezing when he gets really excited.

    Even though it was a budget-breaker, I'm actually kind of glad to have his x-rays and lab work. I knew I was adopting an older dog with an unknown medical history, so it's nice to have some reassurance that he's basically in good shape except for his current illness.

    Now that he's feeling better, his house training habits have returned to normal, which is to say not perfect, but generally pretty good. I'll be taking him to my regular vet for a follow-up appointment after work on Friday, but it looks like he's on the mend.

    Let's hope that's the end of the coughing in our household for a long time to come.

  • Average Jane’s Week So Far

    I keep writing partial blog posts and then never finishing or publishing them. In my defense, I've been incredibly busy.

    Most of what's keeping me busy has been work. I've been booking my favorite small, out-of-the-way meeting room for long work sessions and it's been a great boon for my productivity. It also turns me into a hermit and causes me to work later than I'd necessarily meant to.

    However, I did emerge the other day to photograph a cool-looking storm from the fourth floor of my office.

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    The other minor drama this week involved my car. I'd been noticing some problems with the clutch and I had a repair appointment set for this Friday morning. However, over the weekend the symptoms worsened until I could hardly get the car in or out of first gear and reverse, so I moved the appointment up to Tuesday morning.

    They diagnosed a pricey problem, ordered the parts, and sent me back to work disguised as a soccer mom driving this:

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    On one hand, it's always kind of fun driving a new car with lots of high-tech features. On the other hand, look at the size of that thing! It has to be twice as long as my little Honda Insight. 

    I got my car back yesterday for the savings-account-draining price of $700+. But at least now I can shift gears and no longer have to worry about crashing into the front wall of my garage.

    One more thing worth mentioning: On Tuesday night I cooked dinner at home (for once) and decided we needed a dessert. I remembered a Chocolate Bourbon Cake recipe I'd pinned on Pinterest, so I looked it up on my phone while I was at the store and bought the one ingredient I didn't already have (which turned out to be instant coffee).

    It gave me the opportunity to use some of the Lindt 90% and 99% dark chocolate I still had left from the giant basket o' chocolate I won at BlogHer last year. I also used Crown Royal instead of bourbon because the only bourbon I had on hand was a bottle of Basil Hayden's that's way too nice (and expensive) to bake with.

    I could tell just from the silkiness of the batter that the cake was going to be amazing…and it was. It's a beautiful, moist, dense cake with a rich flavor that's not too sweet. I will definitely make it again and I recommend that you do the same. Next time I think I'll make some Bailey's whipped cream to go with it.

    So that's been my week. How are things going with you?

  • Average Jane Goes To A Parade

    Kansas City has a pretty large St. Patrick's Day parade and if I've ever been to one before, I don't remember it. Yesterday I was invited to a party at Queen of Quirky's house, which is conveniently located about a block from the parade route. We fortified ourselves with coffee and Bailey's Irish Cream, then walked up the street to watch the festivities.

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    It was a good parade with plenty of interesting stuff to see. I had no idea Kansas City had so many drill teams and Irish dancing schools. Yet there was only one marching band in the parade.

    The weather was absolutely perfect. It was in the mid- to upper-70s all day long. Usually on St. Patrick's Day it's chilly and rainy, but this year all bets are off when it comes to normal weather.

    Once we'd had all the parade we could stand (which turned out to be about an hour and a half), we adjourned to our hostess' house where we had a cookout and sat on the porch drinking beer for the rest of the afternoon. I brought pasta salad and someone made some amazing cupcakes that had chocolate Guinness cake filled with chocolate whiskey ganache and iced with Bailey's Irish Cream frosting. I may have had two of them.

    I still had a volunteer shift at Petco to consider, so I kept my partying to a minimum and was one of the first to leave. It was a lot of fun, though, and a good prequel for a pub crawl I'm attending next weekend.

    In the evening, my husband and I decided to stick close to home and have dinner at our favorite local barbecue joint on the back patio. We each had a Reuben and enjoyed the amazing weather.

    Maybe I'll have a similar day six years from now when St. Patrick's Day next falls on Saturday. If not, at least I have some photos to remember it by!

  • Average Jane Walks

    IMG_2126This morning, for only the second time this calendar year, the dog and I took our 3.4 mile neighborhood walk. Or as I imagine Toby likes to call it, the Fascinating Smells Tour.

    Last year I'd gotten to the point of taking the walk 3-4 times per week. I'd love to get back into that routine because I can tell I'm less fit than I was then. Three-and-a-half months of bronchitis will do that to a person.

    IMG_2127Toby is looking a little chunky as well. Poor guy has hardly been past the edge of the yard since Christmas.

    It was beautifully warm out. The weather app on my phone said 64°F, but it felt warmer than that to me. (Midwestern humidity, you know.) I wore a t-shirt and yoga pants and was perfectly comfortable. I saw a couple out walking in sweatshirts and they had to have been sweltering.

    There is another opportunity for me to exercise of which I haven't yet taken advantage: a new gym at my office. They hold "boot camp" training sessions at lunchtime and it's open all day otherwise. I need to figure out a way to squeeze a workout in now and then.

    I won't have time to walk tomorrow because I'm hosting a (likemind) coffee meetup. If you're in Kansas City and would like to join us, it starts at 7:30 a.m. at Mildred's Coffeehouse in the Crossroads (the corner of 18th & Wyandotte).

    I really missed walking and I'm feeling motivated to get my walking schedule back on track. If anyone wants to walk with me over the weekend, just say the word!