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Friday is payday, so I’m starting to look through the stack of bills on my desk and the news is not good. I’ve fallen behind again for no reason other than my own laziness and disorganization. Worst of all, I can’t find one of my credit card bills, so I can’t pay it even though I’m ready to do so.

You’d think that online bill paying and the other conveniences of modern commerce would help me, but they’re just not enough. A smart person would receive a bill, schedule the payment online, file the receipt and move on with life. I, on the other hand, let the bills mix with the other mail for a few weeks until I have time to shred the credit card offers, mortgage refinance come-ons, etc. Then I put the bills in their own pile for perhaps another week until I find the time to open each one, write the due date and amount on the envelope and then neglect them some more until money appears.

We won’t even talk about the first three quarters of estimated taxes for my business. It would take about an hour for me to gather the information and send it to my accountant to get that nightmare off my back, but evidently I’m having trouble locating that elusive hour. This, my friends, is why I went back to working for someone else. (I can’t readily explain why I’ve kept the business going, too.)

There was a time in my life when I thought that I might someday get organized and then everything would be all rays-of-sunlight-on-my-head, bluebirds-perching-on-my-outstretched-finger, flowers-blooming-spontaneously-as-I-pass. I call it the Disney theory of life organization. Too bad the whole idea is psychotic.

Yesterday I received the insurance card for the Insight and it came with a sheet of amendments to my policy. This one caught my eye:

The following is added to When The Physical Damage Coverages Do Not Apply:

THERE IS NO COVERAGE FOR LOSS TO ANY VEHICLE THAT RESULTS FROM:

1. NUCLEAR RADIATION;
2. RADIATION OR RADIOACTIVE CONTAMINATION FROM ANY SOURCE; OR
3. THE ACCIDENTAL OR INTENTIONAL DETONATION OF, OR RELEASE OF RADIATION FROM, ANY NUCLEAR OR RADIOACTIVE DEVICE.

I hope my insurance company doesn’t know something that I don’t…

Dear Sports Fan(atics),

As yesterday’s loss should have demonstrated, your contributions to the game, however impassioned, really make no significant difference. You can shout advice to the players, harangue the officials, shout expletives to the heavens without regard for the proximity of children, and still the game may not go your way.

Furthermore, despite your insistent advice, I want you to know that my friends and I feel no compulsion to join you in shouting, beating on the chairs, etc. This is especially true when we are all being roasted alive in the direct sunlight and obviously wilting like neglected houseplants.

I’m sure you believe that if the three of us had only done a little yelling, sprung to our feet every time you did, and stayed beyond the middle of the game, the outcome might have been different. I maintain that your theory is based on more mistaken assumptions than I have the time or energy to counter.

Your erstwhile seatmate,

Jane

How can this not be Saturday? I feel as though this work week has lasted about two weeks already. I’ve actually been quite productive, but I’m still ready for a break!

Yesterday was a particularly good day. I walked about 1/2 mile to meet a friend for lunch, so that meant it was okay to have chicken fingers and french fries because, after all, I had to walk 1/2 mile back to the office, too! We had a jolly band practice last night and polished up several of the newer songs.

Someone’s offhand comment about a t-shirt I wore at our party on the 4th of this month made me realize that I hadn’t done laundry for weeks. This morning I’m taking a stab at the Laundry Blob that threatens to engulf the entire basement. My husband’s poor, cheap, plastic hamper was so overloaded that I couldn’t even carry it downstairs without dividing its contents in half.

Tonight: date night. We keep meaning to see a movie and now I’m torn between “Sky Captain” and “Shaun of the Dead.” I suppose it will depend on whether my evening mood leads me toward the breathtaking or the over-the-top comedic.

On Saturday I’m finally getting my hair highlighted and cut. I actually wore a baseball cap one day this week, but then I decided nobody really cares what I look like so I gave it up the next day.

In honor of the beginning of autumn I was going to post a photo of my still-ripening pumpkin, but it turns out that the one casualty of the Microsoft Service Pack 2 update was the interface between my digital camera and the computer. At least it’s the one casualty I’ve noticed so far. I’ll show off my pumpkin pix when I get everything sorted out (meaning, when I talk my husband into getting everything sorted out for me).

Have a lovely weekend!

Yesterday: wake up, blog, get dressed, run errand, get coffee and yogurt/fruit/granola parfait, work, work, work, work, work, work, finally have lunch, work, work, go home and read for a few minutes, run to grocery store for cookies, meet up with the girls, chat, drink wine, have dinner, eat cookies, chat some more, head home, go to bed.

If I went into any more detail, it would be like one of those letters from an elderly relative that turns out to be mostly about what everyone had to eat all day long. Not of general interest.

I’ll try to work a little more action and adventure into my schedule today so I’ll have more to discuss tomorrow. Barring that, maybe I’ll make something up!

Yesterday I picked up and mailed the copies of my last edition of the club newsletter I’ve been working on for almost two years. I’m FREE!!!!!

Back when I was self-employed, it wasn’t too difficult for me to carve out 8-12 hours now and then to edit, lay out and design a 12- to 24-page newsletter. Now that I have a “real job” again, I find I’m not willing to part with that much of my precious free time. Heck, I almost never HAVE that much free time.

I hope to celebrate my new-found freedom by getting back in touch with some of the friends I haven’t seen lately. If I’m lucky, that means more book clubs and game nights. Tonight: dinner with the Regular Girls.

I just bought the new edition of the game Celebrity Taboo, which was always a big favorite in my game-playing circle when the last edition was out. Taboo and Celebrity Taboo are sort of a 20,000 Pyramid-style game where you have a list of words you can’t say in giving clues to your partner so they can guess the name of an object or celebrity.

The fun thing about Celebrity Taboo is that anyone who pays attention to celebrity gossip is liable to know the latest news about someone that will easily trump the forbidden words list. For example, I’ll bet the “Britney Spears” category just got a whole lot easier in the clue-giving department thanks to last weekend’s events. Of course, it can also be frustrating if you end up paired with someone who wouldn’t know the name of the celebrity in question if you produced a photograph and a full bio.

I’m still working on reading “Jonathan Strange” and my friend just loaned me the new Jasper Fforde book. I’ve deliberately kept my schedule pretty open this weekend, so I plan to read, read and read some more. That is, when I’m not driving the Insight around and watching the gas mileage readout. Man, what a cool car!

I bought the 2001 Honda Insight! I went and drove it yesterday evening and found it delightful in every way. I don’t know if I got ripped off or not, but I’m always happy if the dealer at least pretends I’m getting a good deal.

I did a test drive for a reasonable distance down some city streets and then up and back down the highway a couple of miles. Once I got used to the tiny shift pattern, I thought the car had a decent amount of pep (it’s a 5-speed, so obviously I have some control over that), and it did nothing to hinder my speedin’ ways.

Our negotiating position was completely atrocious because the dealer knew (and we knew) that this was the only Insight for sale in the area. Before I saw it, I’d objected to the color (silver), but it’s really quite attractive. It’s definitely an eye-catching little car. Best of all, the average gas mileage the car has had over its lifetime so far shows up as 55.6 mpg. I read dozens of reviews of the car and so far I agree on one thing: watching the current gas mileage readout is addictive.

Now I need to rid myself of the Dentmobile. That will probably mean having someone remove the dent and figure out how to get the “Check Engine” light to shut off. I’m not expecting to get much money for it, but any little bit will help. I’ll be paying off a good 3/4 of the Honda loan right away, but I don’t want to dilly-dally on paying off the rest.

I really think I’m going to like this car. Unlike the past several cars I’ve had, this one is “me.” I’m looking forward to driving it again this morning. Maybe I should go in early…

I didn’t get a chance to go to the movies this weekend after all. “Sky Captain” will have to wait for sometime this week or perhaps next weekend.

Instead, I raced from one social event to another. On Friday, I stopped by Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy a wedding present and I ended up getting my sister a random collection of things for her birthday that all fell into the category of “things I saw that I thought it would be cool to have.” This included a very squishy pillow (I must admit, I bought one for myself, too), a pet hair remover brush, and some silicone pot holders. The last time I ate at my sister’s she burned herself and blamed the potholders I’d woven for her from cotton loops. Average Jane Industries does not warrant said potholders for use against high temperatures, so I thought it would be best to supply a substitute.

Even though I didn’t make it to the movies, I did buy a book: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clark. I…can’t…stop…reading…it. It’s 782 pages long and I’m on page 478 and I would like nothing better than to take the day off from work today so I could finish it. Sadly, I have way too much work to do for that to be an option. If you like stories about magic and magicians and can appreciate a book written in the style of a novel of the 1800s, this is a book for you. I’m already trying to decide who should get to borrow it first when I’m finished…

Nothing of particular interest happened at the wedding or the two birthday parties I attended this weekend (except that my brother-and-law and I both bought my sister the same kind of squishy pillow). That’s all for now. Enjoy your Monday!

We’ve finally come to a fairly reasonable agreement with my insurance company regarding my flood-ruined car. I’ve decided that I’m going to take the money, sell or trade in the Probe (a.k.a. “The Dentmobile”) and buy myself a vehicle that gets good gas mileage. This has led me to research the various hybrid cars that have been slowly seeping onto the market over the past few years. There might be a few tradeoffs in comfort and styling, but the appeal of 50-60 mpg (not to mention two more years of Federal tax incentives) speaks to my inner miser.

I’ve ruled out the Toyota Prius for the simple reason that it’s impossible to get one. I’ve always been a big Toyota fan, but I’m not willing to pay a premium to get one just because the demand has outstripped the supply.

That leaves the two Honda hybrids: the Insight and the hybrid Civic. (Apparently Honda is coming out with a hybrid Accord soon, too, but by then I’ll probably have made my purchase.)

The Insight is a two-seater, but that’s not really a disincentive as far as I’m concerned. The zillions of consumer reviews I’ve read online pretty much agree on two things about the Insight: the stereo sucks and the tires suck. The other complaints seem to be a little more subjective, so I’ll withhold my judgment until I’ve had the chance to drive one (which should take place around 6 p.m. tomorrow).

I’m not ruling out the hybrid Civic, though. It’s a normal Civic in every respect except for the hybrid engine. That means it isn’t especially light or otherwise engineered to take full advantage of the gas/electric combination, so its gas mileage isn’t as knockout impressive as what the Insight achieves (average 48 mpg vs. Insight’s 56 mpg). Still, that’s better than 99% of the vehicles on the road, so I’d like to check it out.

I’ll keep you posted as I make my car shopping rounds.

I’d started writing a blog entry about how terrible my hair looks right now and how I need to start exercising, but it was so incredibly boring that I couldn’t even bring myself to read over it to proof it.

Therefore, I’m taking today off from Average Jane. I’ve been doing tons of writing at work this week and I’m all tapped out for ideas. This weekend includes a wedding, two birthday parties for my sister, and, I hope, a viewing of “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.” Let’s hope that gives me something interesting to say by Monday.

Have a good weekend!