Average Jane

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  • Average Jane Names Her Basement Cat

    Fullsizeoutput_1149Once we had our new cat friend's neuter and microchip appointment on the vet's schedule, we were in a race against time to give him an actual name for the paperwork. Nature stepped in to give us a nudge by way of putting THREE POUNDS of additional cat mass on him over the span of a little more than a month.

    It became clear that he was heading in the direction of gigantic, so I threw out Moose as an idea and it stuck.  Not only does "Moose" describe his probable final form, but it squeezes in a pop culture tie-in so he fits in with the rest of our gang (Xena, Trillian, Dr. Jones, Kaylee and Dottie). 

    For those who don't watch Supernatural, Moose was a nickname given to one of the main characters by a demon. It's a long story.

    So anyway, Moose came through his surgery and brushed it off like nothing happened. The vet was stunned at how much larger he was since the last time she'd seen him. Checking my calendar, the appointment I made for him on November 8th referred to him as "black kitten" and now he looks like a full grown man. Except that his feet are enormous, so it's safe to say he has more growing to do.

    Moose still lives in the basement, but we've been bringing him up to mingle with the general population every day. Dr. Jones is pretty much fine with him. Dottie is in heaven to have her favorite play buddy upstairs. Trillian and Xena are generally filled with hate, so their crabby opinions don't count.

    He's a little hesitant to stay upstairs for long periods of time, but I think he'll get over that soon because he's clearly bored. I can tell because he's been exploring the upper shelves in the basement and liberating various objects to play with.

    Over the past two days, he's performed surgery on the plastic bag that holds a bunch of my Christmas decorations and started removing items from it one by one. First it was the front door wreath with the wreath hanger still on it. I took the hint and hung up the wreath where it belonged. The next day there was a stocking and another wreath on the floor, so I hung them on the fireplace mantel and the other side of the door, respectively. It's like he's an Icelandic Yule Cat who ended up shilling for Christmas instead of stalking children's closets.

    All in all, Moose is a very soft, gentle, sweet guy and I'm looking forward to having him integrated fully into the household. I certainly wasn't looking to add another cat to our menagerie, but he's a good one.

  • Average Jane’s Basement Cat Update

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    Okay, he hasn't arisen from the depths yet, but we're getting closer. He's met most of the other cats through the baby gate with only a mild amount of hissing from them.

    Most importantly, he and Dottie have completely hit it off. We've started letting the dog into the basement for short spells, which for both of them means WRESTLING MATCH! They roughhouse very vigorously, but clearly willingly. The dog's tail never stops wagging, even when the cat is biting her on the butt. The cat gets pinned pretty easily, but pops up, backs off a step, then charges right back in.

    We could really give him the run of the house any time, but because I'm hosting Thanksgiving dinner next week, I think I'm going to hold off until after all that chaos subsides. We'll have enough going on with people in the house triggering Dottie's worst chihuahua impulses to guard me from the dangerous strangers who should never have been allowed in.

    And no, he doesn't have a name yet. We still keep referring to him as Basement Cat or Downstairs Cat. I'm thinking of making his neuter appointment for the day after Thanksgiving, so that gives us a week to settle on something. I would be 100% on board with actually naming him Basement Cat because it would be completely on brand for me to name a pet after an Internet meme. I imagine we'll ultimately give him more of a traditional name, though. 

    If you haven't been following this story from the beginning, you can find the background here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

  • Average Jane’s Wordless Post of the Week: 103 Years Old

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  • Average Jane Makes American Food

    IMG_4510Every month, some friends of mine host a game night and there's always a theme for the potluck foods we bring. Today the theme was "American As Apple Pie," so I knew immediately that I would be making and bringing that American classic that no one from another country would touch with a ten-metre pole: Tater Tot Casserole.

    I did not grow up with tater tot casserole, although I was raised on plenty of dishes that called for canned soups. My first exposure to it was at a job where where my co-workers and I took turns bringing in meals. One evening a co-worker introduced me to the glorious concoction of consumer packaged goods that is tater tot casserole. She gave me her recipe and the rest is history.

    Without further ado, here's how to make one for yourself.

    Tater Tot Casserole

    2 lbs. ground beef
    1/2 onion, diced
    1 can cream of celery soup
    1 can cream of mushroom soup
    12 oz. frozen corn
    32 oz. frozen tater tots
    16 oz. American cheese slices
    Garlic powder and black pepper to taste

    Heat oven to 400°F. Brown ground beef in a large skillet, add diced onion and cook until onion is translucent. Meanwhile, put frozen corn in a small saucepan with enough water to cover and heat until water is boiling. Drain and add to cooked ground beef. Mix in both cans of soup and any desired spices.

    Spread ground beef mixture into a large casserole dish (13" x 9" or similar). Top with cheese slices, then arrange tater tots on top to cover.

    Bake for 30 minutes or until tater tots are browned on top.

  • Average Jane Takes A Quiz

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    I found this random food preferences quiz on Facebook and I figured it would be good for a Monday post on a day when I really need to get back to work after dinner. Also, there's no information here that's going to be useful for nefarious purposes, so I might as well answer.

    Miracle Whip – For something like a noodle salad, sure. 
    Pickles – Yes! Don't let them touch my sandwich, but I'm up for any type of pickles, including pickled beets.
    Cilantro – Yes, please.
    Black Jelly Beans – I mean, they're not my favorite, but I'll eat some.
    Pineapple Pizza – Meh. Pizza doesn't need fruit on it.
    Sardines – Nope.
    Oysters – Nope.
    Sushi – Nope. I tried some kind of vegetarian sushi once, but seaweed still tastes fishy and gross, so I hated it.
    Candy Corn – Yes! Mix it with some salted peanuts and it's better still.
    Vienna Sausages – No.
    Brussels Sprouts – Absolutely yes! I gave myself a stomach ache eating crispy fried Brussels sprouts a couple of weeks ago.
    Liver – Stop asking me about gross meat things.
    Circus Peanuts – Yes! They taste like fake banana, which is one of my favorite fruit candy flavors.
    Bologna – Again, no.
    Black Olives – I'll take them on pizza.
    Green Olives – Yes, I like them by themselves or in dirty martinis.
    Blue Cheese – Maytag blue cheese melted over potato chips fresh from the fryer. Yum!
    Fruitcake – Not a fan. I'd rather have rum cake.
    SPAM – {Shakes head no.}
    Cabbage – I love cabbage in just about any form.
    Gizzards – I think I've made my feelings about nasty meaty things pretty clear.
    Potato Salad – I make a very nice potato salad and that's my favorite.
    Eggnog – Yuck.
    Black coffee – Almost exclusively, and I'm a snob about it.
    Anchovies – {Makes disgusted face.}
    Grits – Yes! 
    Sauerkraut – Delicious and good for your gut microbiome.

  • Average Jane Helps You Plan Thanksgiving Dinner

    Stefon-thanksgivingThere's something about the prospect of making Thanksgiving dinner that freaks out even experienced cooks. A lot of it is the giant turkey that most families only have once a year. What's the correct oven temperature? How long does it cook? Heck, I make baked potatoes all the time and I still have to look up the temperature and time on those, so I get why no one ever remembers how to bake a turkey.

    Then there are the other decisions like what side dishes you should make and how you can get your pumpkin pie to have actual flavor.

    To assist you with many of these burning questions (no pun intended…maybe), might I recommend Average Jane's Favorite Thanksgiving Recipes.

    It's a free PDF of all of my classic family recipes for Thanksgiving from appetizers to dessert, plus a few wildcards to make things more interesting.

    If I needed to make a big family Thanksgiving dinner, these are exactly the recipes I'd use.

    These days, I generally have no more than a half-dozen people over for Thanksgiving dinner, so I do an abbreviated version that involves ordering the turkey, potatoes, gravy, dressing, rolls and green bean casserole from the catering department of my local grocery store. That way, I can concentrate on making my house presentable and I only have to whip up a couple of side dishes and pies before it's time to heat up the pre-made parts of the dinner.

    I like the compromise because it cuts out some of the messier and more labor-intensive portions of the meal, while still allowing for ample leftovers. Then I have more time for touches like homemade whipped cream for the pie.

    What's your plan for Thanksgiving this year? Do any of my recipes sound like something you'd be interested in trying?

  • Average Jane Tries An Unusual Beer

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    Today I tried a Beet Weiss from Crane Brewing Company. I'll start by saying that I love beets (or beetroot, as my U.K. friends call it). I was actually planning on just having Cuento Coffee at the brewery, but one of my friends bought a flight and got me the beet beer because she knew I was a fan.

    It was great!

    The beer was light and tart and tasted exactly like pickled beets. The only thing that would have made it taste more like the pickled beets I make would have been the addition of some cloves. Hint, hint, Crane Brewing.

    That said, it's obviously only for people who love the taste of beets. If you're a beet hater, just move along.

    I only had the small taster glass today, but I would definitely drink it again. It was so novel and interesting that I found myself thinking about it later. Let me know if you want to go with me and try it!

  • Average Jane’s Stray Cat Update

    I haven't talked about our stray cat friend lately, so here's what's up.Fullsizeoutput_1115 

    Last weekend, I made an appointment to have him tested for FIV and FeLV. He came up negative, which is great news. An FIV diagnosis used to mean that a cat would be quarantined from healthy cats for a lifetime. Today, that's no longer the case, but it's just good to know that he doesn't have the virus. FeLV is a death sentence, so it's especially good news that he doesn't have that one.

    Once his tests came back, I went ahead and got him vaccinated for rabies and everything else he was due for. The vet agreed with me that he's 6 or 7 months old. 

    He still needs to be neutered, but there's no huge hurry on that. My vet's office gave me a quote to have him neutered and microchipped and it was quite expensive, so I may just take him to the humane society and have them do it.

    We got our baby gate back from our neighbors, who no longer needed it now that their "puppy" is several years old. He's met the dog and a couple of the cats through it without incident. The next step is to bring him upstairs for further meet-and-greets through the gate.

    Does he have a name? No. All of the vet's office paperwork calls him "TBD," so every email about him says something like, "Here's your cost estimate for TBD's neuter." I almost feel like we should name him Thibodaux now. But honestly, we keep trying to think of names but nothing is sticking.

    He's obviously very active when we're not watching. He mauled two of my alpaca wool dryer balls to the point where I don't think they're salvageable. I'm sure they made great toys. He seems to be spending time on one of my laundry tables, but it's the one that's covered with stuff I was going to get rid of anyway, so no harm, no foul.

    For now, we both visit him numerous times a day to pet him and bring him food and water. We'd still like to move him upstairs, but we're taking it slow to make sure none of the other cats lodge a strenuous objection. At this point, we can take all the time we need, so we'll make sure to do everything slowly and carefully. As I said before, we'll see what happens.

  • Average Jane Communicates in Memes

    DinosaurOne of my favorite things about social media is being able to use memes, cartoons, other people's tweets and GIFs to comment. I know that's kind of a weird thing for a writer to say; probably even moreso when I admit that I don't really have a talent for creating them.

    What I do have is a vast collection of images I've picked up over the past several years. I have one or more for just about any mood or situation. 

    I have entire conversations using Schitt's Creek GIFs. I often drop funny memes into the ongoing Messenger thread I have with a group of my friends. One of my secret Facebook groups does a Meme Monday post every week where I share the bounty of my meme harvest from the previous week.

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    Many of the ones I collect are the type of cartoon or image I would have printed out 15 years ago to pin to the bulletin board around my desk. In fact, I still have a folder of stuff like that filed away.

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    Back then, you only ran across funny and pithy sayings and comic panels occasionally. Today, you can find one or two worth keeping and sharing every day.

    I picked the ones in this post more or less at random, but as you can see, cats figure pretty prominently. I have a pretty decent number of dog ones, too. 

    Really, anything that makes me laugh or nod in agreement goes into the folder, ready to share the next time I think it will make someone else react the same way.

    It's my most inexpensive and undemanding hobby.

  • Average Jane’s Wordless Post of the Week: Safety First

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