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  • Threadbare Average Jane

    Shaggy.Man I knew I hadn't been doing much shopping over the past couple of years, but I've recently started to notice that a good percentage of my clothes are looking worn, if not downright shabby.

    The other day I wore a thin, long-sleeved t-shirt layered underneath a regular t-shirt and didn't realize until I got to work that there were holes in both sleeves of the undershirt. Not to mention a tiny hole in the outer shirt that I'm going to ignore for now because it's one of my favorites.

    The evidence has been cumulative: a flannel nightgown from the '80s reduced to a pile of dustrags, a long-sleeved tee looking thin and stretched out, a silk-screened t-shirt design cracking and fading despite being hung to dry after each washing, a spot on a tank top that isn't coming out in the wash. Finally the revelation: I need some new clothes.

    My husband is in the same boat. We both wear jeans and t-shirts most of the time, but most of the attrition in his wardrobe comes from t-shirts shrinking over time or getting poked full of holes when Xena jumps into his arms and clings to his shoulder with her claws.

    I can hardly think of an activity I enjoy less than shopping for clothes. Yesterday I visited a few boutiques with my sister and niece. Sure, all the clothes look adorable in size 5, but not so cute by the time they've tacked on an extra yard of fabric to get to my size.

    I ended up with one top I thought was fairly cute. When I put it on over my Yummie Tummie tank to go to a party last night, my husband's comment was, "It's a little snug, isn't it?" So, yeah.

    I've been trying to buy some clothes online, but no matter how detailed the sizing and measurement information are, I never seem to be able to buy anything that fits properly. One way or another, I need to do something about my wardrobe. It's bad enough that I wear jeans, t-shirts and sneakers every day; it's much worse when those garments are also worn out.

    It looks like I'm going to have no choice but to enlist a fashionable friend for a shopping trip soon. If you'd like to volunteer for that position, I'm accepting all applicants.

    Image of The Shaggy Man from the Oz books found at Wikimedia Commons.

  • Average Jane Catches Up

    List I've been keeping really busy of late (me? no way!) and I decided earlier this week that it would be a good idea for me to make a to-do list of my non-job-related projects to make sure I didn't let anything slip through the cracks.

    It filled an entire page.

    That is how I found myself at the post office at one o'clock in the morning on Tuesday, mailing dues statements for my community service organization. Once I had the list in front of me, I put my head down and just started plowing through it.

    Now I'm mostly caught up on club business (except that I need to prepare a handout for our region conference at the end of the month). Two of my three tax forms have been submitted. Work for my dad's company is under control for now. I wrote a letter to the water company on my dad's behalf and got that mailed. I feel so accomplished.

    Tonight all I have to do is make a cheesecake for Cagey's birthday party (they're better if they have a few days to cure before serving) and comb all the cats with my new Furminator for an upcoming blog post.* Anyone who is coming to Cagey's will be happy to know that I plan to make the cheesecake first.

    At some point I also need to prepare for a two-hour presentation I'm doing next week on business blogging. I know what I want to talk about, but an outline would be helpful.

    That doesn't count the yard work and gardening that looms, nor the weekly volunteer stuff to which I've committed myself. Still, I'm feeling optimistic that I've made some progress. That's something.

    *Disclosure: The Furminator was provided to me at no charge as part of a blogger program related to National Hairball Awareness Day (see badge on right). My eventual blog post is guaranteed to permanently cement my crazy cat lady reputation.

    Photo credit: Tom Ray

  • Average Jane’s Weekend of Fun

    Man, did I have a fun weekend! As I mentioned in my last post, I started Saturday morning at my office, which is very dark after hours. I had to scan my finger a bazillion times before the door would open, but once I got in, I settled at my desk with my coffee and snacks and got a lot accomplished. I worked for four solid hours, finished my most pressing project and then I was free. FREE, I tell you!

    IMG_0363 After a quick stop at home to drop off my work laptop and another to get some cash from the ATM, I met a big group of my Twitter and blogging buddies at a restaurant in my neighborhood to kick off our third annual pub crawl.

    Keep in mind that I live in a small bedroom community, so the bar scene in town is pretty limited. After our first round, we walked up the street past a bar that had gone out of business since last year and stopped by the sausage shop to fortify ourselves for the second bar.

    The tavern in question is tiny and due to the truly silly liquor laws in Kansas, technically a private club. Fortunately one of our group was actually a member, so we all signed the very official spiral-bound guest notebook so we could have the priviledge of purchasing $2.00 PBR drafts (or in my case, $3.00 Boulevard Pilsner bottles).

    We took our drinks to the "patio," which is pictured to the right. If you're thinking "tenement alleyway," no one would blame you. Note the handy proximity of the dumpster. My favorite Twitter quote of the day came from this stop: "It smells like Worlds of Fun here. You mean like asphalt and barf?"

    Actually there were a lot of good quotes, all preserved for posterity under the hashtag #missiondrunj. That's a lie, really. We were all pretty incoherent.

    Our fourth stop was a barbecue joint that not only serves interesting fare like alligator eggrolls and bison empanadas, but secretly has a very impressive beer selection. My table split a variety of appetizers and a couple of pitchers of beer.

    IMG_0375 We made several more stops after that, including a return to the bar with the classy back patio. I chose to sit inside the second time around because the sun and I don't get along very well. Two of us made our presence felt by spending $1.00 for three Lady Gaga songs in a row from the jukebox. It's a testament to the mellowness of our group that we were allowed to live. We kept trying another bar around the corner, but there was a wedding reception close by and it was more hassle than it was worth to try to get served.

    The last pub stop was a gigantic, mostly empty bar with a lot of pool tables. After that, the remaining stragglers wound up at our hosts' house for a little chill time on their patio and some karaoke to cap off the day.

    I slept in on Sunday (7:00 a.m., woohoo!) and went out to breakfast with my husband. After my volunteer shift with the adoptable cats at Petco, I made a grocery store run and returned home to bake blueberry scones and baked doughnut muffins for my 2:30 p.m. book club meeting.

    When my guests arrived to discuss The Art of Racing in the Rain, I warned everyone to be sure to zip up their purses lest one of the cats decide to steal something. Xena is our usual thief, but Dr. Jones was acting very interested in everyone's stuff as well.

    After everyone went home, my husband and I went out for pizza. When we came back, the first thing I saw when we walked in the door was a plastic-wrapped brownie that had been gnawed by one of the cats and left in the middle of the living room floor.

    IMG_0395 I knew immediately that Dr. Jones had weaseled it out of one of my guests' bags, hidden it, and then chewed it up as soon as he had some time to himself. As you can see, all of that plotting wore him right out.

    An email to the group revealed the victim (and everyone else thought it was hilarious). I was careful to put the remaining scones and muffins out of Jones' reach on top of the refrigerator before I came upstairs to write this post.

    So now all of the cats are crashed out from the excitement of the day, my husband and I are working in our respective offices, and it's about time for me to head to bed and read for a few minutes before I fall asleep.

    It's not very often that I have almost two full days of nonstop fun, but this weekend certainly fit that description. I emerged relaxed, mostly unscathed (except for a bruised foot from an unexpectedly hard step off a curb) and ready to tackle another week of work.

    How was your weekend?

  • Average Jane’s Cat, Caught On Tape

    If you're using the bathroom at our house, you'd better lock the door. Xena has learned how to jimmy open the pocket door from underneath so she can slide it the rest of the way open and come in whenever she pleases.

    She's gotten really good at it, as you can see in the video. We waited to record her antics until I had the floors and baseboards nice and clean. However, now I'm bothered by how dirty the door looks, so I'll be taking care of that sometime today.

    Notice that she makes a beeline for the open drawer. Xena likes to go through people's stuff to see if there might be anything fun she can steal. She's been known to take things from my friends' open purses, so I have to warn my guests to secure all of their belongings. It's sort of like having a giant, non-stinky ferret.

    Well, off to shower and head into the office (by way of the coffee shop) to get in a few hours of work. Have a great weekend!

  • Average Jane’s Husband Can Read Her Mind

    IMG_0352 When I got home from work last night, I was really tired. I decided to lie on the couch for a bit and that's where I was when my husband came downstairs to say goodbye to me before he left for band practice.

    He said, "You'd better get up soon and get something to eat or you're going to end up having popcorn for dinner again."

    As soon as he'd said, "You'd better get up soon and get something to eat or…" the first thing that flashed into my mind was an image of a big bowl of popcorn. Damn, he knows me so well!

    So I got up and made a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner.

    And then later on I made myself that big bowl of popcorn. How could I not? It was practically a dare.

  • Has Average Jane Started Drinking Coffee Again?

    Coffee

    Uh, maybe. But I still drink lots of water, too. See?

    P.S. For everyone who wanted to know if my Average Jane water bottle is for sale, the answer is yes. Apparently I removed my shop link from the blog at some point, but you can get them from CafePress here.

  • Spring Cleaning at Average Jane’s House

    IMG_0344 My husband and I spent the better part of the weekend undoing months of household neglect. I know no one cares about this except us, but I'm going to document it here just as a reminder to myself.

    The vacuum cleaner was my best friend for the whole endeavor. I used it to sweep the floors, remove the fur coats from the ceiling fan blades, get cobwebs out of the corners, and I even hefted it onto the kitchen counter so I could vacuum all the dust bunnies off the tops of the cupboards.

    I mopped all of the floors in the house and cleaned the mosaic tile bathroom floor with a scrub brush. My husband took on the cleaning of all the bathroom fixtures and mirrors. I cleaned out my bathroom drawers for the first time since we remodeled about four years ago.

    My new favorite cleaning product is Method hardwood floor cleaner. It's really easy to use, does a lovely job of cleaning (see how shiny my living room floor looks in the picture?) and it smells great. Even our bedroom floor looks pretty good now, and it's almost completely devoid of varnish. Best of all, the product is non-toxic, which is helpful when your cats think nothing of walking over the just-mopped surface.

    So now our house is clean enough that it won't be too embarrassing when one of my book clubs comes over on Sunday afternoon. Assuming I can maintain the cleanliness that long. I'm certainly going to try.

    IMG_0340
    Please admire my painstakingly scrubbed floor and baseboards.

  • Average Jane Annoys Herself and Others

    Allergies This may be the worst spring allergy season I've ever experienced. I've had a solid week of constant throat clearing, coughing and nose-blowing that I am sure is irritating to anyone with the misfortune to be in my vicinity. I know it's driving me crazy. Worst of all, there's no end in sight.

    I take a daily prescription pill for allergies and asthma anyway, but it's no match for the onslaught of tree pollen and mold spores that have settled in with the warmer weather. Even with the addition of the neti pot, cough tablets, rescue inhaler and boxes of tissues everywhere I go, I can barely sleep through the night, much less sit quietly while I'm trying to work or otherwise live my life.

    Fortunately, my breathing isn't particularly affected, so I can still go walking outside. Whatever is triggering this, it's just as bad indoors as outdoors.

    My husband and I have set aside this entire weekend for spring cleaning, so I'm hoping that will serve to cut down on some of the worst of the indoor allergens by the time we're finished. Of course, it will stir them all up in the process, but I can't imagine my level of suffering getting much worse than it is now.

    As long as I'm miserable anyway, I've also started taking liquid iron supplements prescribed by my doctor for iron deficiency anemia. (I'm just the picture of good health these days, aren't I?) It is truly horrible, but I've learned that I can choke it down more effectively if I mix it with fruit juice. That doesn't hide the hideous aftertaste, but it's much better than drinking it plain.

    So how is your spring going so far?

    Photo credit: subtle_devices

  • Average Jane, Gardener

    Garden This winter I decided that this is the year I'm going to try vegetable gardening again. I gave it a shot in the mid-'90s when we bought our house, but gave up after a couple of years of struggling with poor soil and terrible crop yields.

    To deal with the soil issue, my plan was to build a raised bed in as sunny a backyard spot as I could find. There would be up-front expense and labor to construct the bed and fill it with soil. Then I would plant my selected crops, figure out how to best protect them from the many woodland creatures that traverse our yard, and make sure to schedule plenty of time for watering and weeding.

    Then I saw a message that my city's community garden is offering free garden plots for the growing season.

    The community garden is less than a mile from my house and I drive by it every day. It features 50-square-foot raised beds with concrete sides, and I'm pretty sure the city provides the water. If I went that route, all I would have to do is use my own tools (which I already have), buy my own seeds and/or seedlings, and swing by often to weed and eventually harvest.

    The critter issue shouldn't be quite as bad as it would be at my house because the community garden is at a busy intersection close to an interstate. I would hope that the local fauna wouldn't be reckless enough to spend much time bothering everyone's tomatoes there.

    I signed up and I've been assigned plot #1.

    So now I need to think seriously about what vegetables I want to grow and how best to arrange them. There's a community planting day scheduled in the next couple of weeks, so I'll make sure to get my diagrams drawn and my seeds and plants purchased by then.

    Just for my own convenience, I think I'll revive my herb garden this year as well. I have an area near my front door that still has some volunteer chives and thyme from years past. It just needs a little clearing and tilling to be a viable place to plant herbs again.

    If all goes well, I should have a nice, long season of my favorite vegetables: tomatoes, green beans, lettuce, radishes, squash, etc. I know it'll take some work, but I think it'll be well worth it!

    Photo credit: Downing Street

  • Average Jane Welcomes Spring

    Daffodil We went from snow to warm, gorgeous weather in a week. That's the Midwest for you. I'm thrilled with the temperature change, but I can't quite make myself peel off the plastic that's covering our bedroom window. It's only March and it wouldn't be unheard of to have another ice storm before spring gets really serious.

    Let me get the big news out of way first: I'm staying at my job after all. So a huge weight has been lifted and now I can get back to doing what I do without the distraction of having to job hunt.

    Once again, a big thank you to everyone who has helped, supported and encouraged me over the past five months. I cannot begin to thank you enough for keeping me optimistic.

    Last night I celebrated by lighting two big sparklers I'd been saving and dancing around the yard with them. That was fun.

    Earlier in the evening I attended a city council meeting in a nearby town to help support a friend who was there to address the council. She had obtained the council members' travel expense records via the Freedom of Information Act and prepared a damning presentation about the amount this small city spends on lavish restaurants, limousines and four- and five-star hotels.

    I was incredibly impressed at the amount of work she had done to go on public record to try to change the way her city does business. It made me think I should be paying a lot more attention to the local politics of my own town.

    For now, I'm just going to work on getting back to normal. I need to get our tax paperwork out the door and figure out a household budget that will allow for some much-needed savings but also, I hope, restore a few expenses we cut out over the past months. (House cleaning!)

    Happy Spring!

    Photo credit: Darren Brooker