Average Jane

Blog

  • Average Jane Visits the Vet

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    This morning I got up early to go to my nephew's school and judge a forensics tournament and this afternoon I had election worker training, but I figured I could squeeze in a trip to the vet for our mystery kitty in between.

    After rating seven extemporaneous presentations about various topics around the state of our union, I headed home and called the vet's office to make sure I could bring the kitty in for a quick microchip scan without an appointment.

    They agreed that would be fine, so I cleaned out a cat carrier and loaded up our kitty friend, who was not a fan of being confined again or riding in the car.

    After a thorough scan, it was clear that this cat has no chip. I found that very disappointing because it would have made things SO much easier. A 2012 survey on lost pets (which appears to be the first and only survey of its kind) found that 25% of lost cats never make it back home, compared to 7% of lost dogs. That's even more reason to microchip your cats, in case anyone's on the fence about it.

    So on to Plan B: post the cat on various lost pet forums online. As I was writing out the posts, I realized I wasn't 100% sure that the cat we'd been referring to as "she" was actually female. After some buffer time to let the kitty get over the car ride and vet visit ordeal, I went back downstairs for a quick check. 

    Turns out, we're dealing with a neutered male. I think he's just barely past kitten age – maybe 6 months or so. He has good-sized feet, so his current smallness is probably a combination of youth and recent food scarcity.

    So far there have been lots of shares of the posts, but no nibbles re: ownership. Several people have suggested that I make some flyers to post around the apartment complexes nearby, which I will try to do tomorrow. 

    In the meantime, he's safe and warm in our basement. I brought down a few toys and I noticed that he's tucked one of the catnip ones into the cat bed he's claimed for himself. He's finally eaten his fill to the point where he isn't snarfing down every morsel as soon as it's presented. I refilled his water, so he's fine to hang out as long as necessary to find his people.

    If that doesn't happen after a reasonable time, I have resources to help him find a new home. But I hope we can get him back where he belongs, because he's so sweet and friendly that I'm sure someone misses him.

  • Average Jane Catches A Stray Cat

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    For the first time since the summer of 2014, we have captured a cat that was hanging around some businesses and looked like it needed help. My husband is the one who spotted her (and the last one – he has a good eye for cats in distress). He had spent time the previous two nights trying to lure her with food and gain her trust, but she was understandably skittish.

    Tonight we bought a 50¢ can of cat food and went together to see what we could do. I actually brought my live trap, but she was relaxed enough that she let us both pet her while she was eating. When she was about halfway through the can of food, I scooped her up and put her in my car without incident.

    She wasn't thrilled with the car ride, but that just translated into some meowing. She actually climbed onto the seat and rode in the dog's elevated car seat most of the way home. 

    Once I pulled into the garage, I turned off the car and we petted her to make sure she was calm enough to catch again and bring into the house. Because the dog and the other cats are so nosy, I wanted to bring her in through the back basement door, so I put her into one of the cat carriers that was already in the garage.

    We set her up with a choice of cat beds, the rest of her can of food, some dry food, a bowl of water, and a litter box. 

    I have a pretty busy day tomorrow, but I'll squeeze in some time to take her to my vet to be scanned for a microchip. She is so friendly that she must be someone's pet, so I hope we can get her back to her family.

  • And Just Like That, Average Jane Has Another Dog

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    Meet Dottie, the dog who found me when I wasn’t looking for another dog.

    Long story short, a friend of mine met her at her foster’s house and shared her admittedly adorable photo. I was charmed, but wary of adding a young dog to my household since I’ve only ever had one senior dog. I met her anyway, I’m a sucker, and here we are.

    My friend decided she should be called Dottie because she has a cute little dot above each eye. It makes me think of Dottie from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (“I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.”) so I decided to go with it, even though I realize it basically means I have a dog named Spot.

    I’ve been fostering her for several weeks, she was spayed yesterday, and I finalized her adoption today. She’s seven-and-a-half months old, so she may grow a little larger, but probably not too much. She weighed 10.2 pounds yesterday, which tells me I’ve been overfeeding her a little, although she’s still fairly svelte. Her mother is a chihuahua and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some miniature pinscher in her genetic makeup, but she may just be a big chihuahua with min-pin markings. 

    The cats are…not thrilled. They’re okay with her today because yesterday’s surgery really took the edge off her, but it’s going to be a process getting everyone on the same page. Between crate training, puppy training classes and lots of walks, I think we’ll get there. 

    She’s only had one training class so far, but she’s clearly very smart and interested in being rewarded for things. I’ve already taught her to sit and take a treat gently from my fingers, which is a huge improvement over the baby shark situation I was dealing with at the start.

    And that’s the story of how I became a dog person again. 

  • Average Jane’s Macaroni & Cheese Recipe

    Yesterday was the second time I’ve made mac and cheese in December using a recipe that I’ve Frankensteined together from a real recipe and suggestions from others, so I figured it was about time I wrote it down. I will tell you that it’s been a huge hit with large groups both times I’ve made it, so it seems pretty solid.

    Average Jane’s Macaroni & Cheese

    1 lb. elbow macaroni noodles, cooked and drained
    8 oz. sharp cheddar, grated
    8 oz. smoked gouda, grated
    4 oz. havarti, grated
    1/4 cup parmesan, freshly grated
    8 oz. block of Velveeta
    8 oz. heavy cream
    2 cups water
    1/4 cup butter
    1/2 cup sour cream
    1/4 cup corn starch 
    2 tsp. salt
    1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
    1/4 tsp. paprika
    Bread crumbs for topping

    To make the sauce, mix together the corn starch, salt and pepper in a large saucepan and add heavy cream, water, butter and sour cream. Stir over medium heat until butter melts and mixture begins to thicken. Pull off chunks of the Velveeta and add to the sauce, stirring until they melt. When the mixture begins to bubble slightly, start adding the grated cheese. Stir until the cheese is thoroughly incorporated and the sauce is smooth. Mix sauce with noodles and put in a greased or buttered 9×13" or larger casserole dish. Sprinkle bread crumbs on top and bake at 350°F for 30 minutes or until bubbly throughout. 

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    So that’s the extravaganza of dairy I’ve cobbled together. It’s ridiculous and you don’t want to think too hard about the nutritional content, but everyone I’ve served it to has liked it. I particularly enjoy the flavor that the smoked gouda adds. If you give it a try, let me know! I’ll plan to come back and add a photo the next time I make it. I forgot to get one yesterday during all of the holiday chaos.

  • Average Jane’s Childhood Christmas Mornings

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    The excitement finally broke through your sleep and you’re awake! Unfortunately, it’s still dark outside and the rule is that the sun has to be up before you can wake up your parents, so it’ll be a while you can go downstairs to see what Santa brought.

    For now, you and your sister will have to sit at the top of the stairs and look at the bulging stockings from a distance. Maybe you can go to the bottom of the stairs for a moment and try to look across the room to see the new gifts on the hearth, but it’s technically not allowed.

    The two of you will try not to chatter too excitedly because you’re not supposed to wake up your folks, but surely they will be eager to see what Santa brought them, too.

    After hours and hours it’s finally dawn, but you’ll still have to wait a little longer because your mother needs coffee.

    When you get a little older, you’ll get a special pass to run down to the kitchen (don’t look too hard at the presents!) and make the coffee. Just dump out yesterday’s grounds from the percolator basket, rinse, rinse, rinse, fill the pot with water, balance the stem, line up the basket, and count one scoop of grounds from the five-pound Butternut can for every two cups of coffee.

    Mother likes her coffee with two spoons of sugar and two spoons of Coffee-Mate. Maybe a little more Coffee-Mate if it looks too dark. Daddy likes his just plain. When you eventually begin drinking coffee, you’ll start out fixing yours like Mother’s but eventually end up liking black coffee best.

    Now everyone can go to the living room to open their stocking presents and see what special gift Santa brought this year. Remember the time it was a Malibu Barbie? That was the best!

    The gifts in the stockings and on the hearth are definitely from Santa because they’re wrapped in completely different paper than the presents your parents put under the tree.

    You and your sister have fancy felt stockings, but your parents just put up their own regular socks. Your father’s black trouser sock looks especially funny with lumpy gifts stretching it out.

    There’s a rule for opening regular gifts: you have to take turns so everyone can see what each person got. This rule doesn’t apply for the gifts in the stockings, though, so opening those is a free-for-all. Your parents get really boring stocking stuffers like cartons of cigarettes and sets of screwdrivers, but Santa always knows what you like.

    Okay, now throw all your wrapping paper in the trash and put your presents in your room. We’re leaving for Grandma and Grandpa’s house in an hour, and you need to brush your teeth and get dressed while Daddy loads the car!

  • Average Jane Appreciates the Internet

    laptop-videoIn the past year or so, I’ve been branching out and discovering more online entertainment than ever before. For the longest time, I was not big on watching online videos, but now I subscribe to a whole bunch of YouTube channels. Also, I’ve run across some Twitter niches that are very absorbing. Want a rundown? Of course you do!

    Average Jane’s 8 Favorite Online Entertainment Sources

    1. Lost in Vegas – There’s no shortage of reaction videos these days, but Ryan and George are by far my favorites. They choose genres they aren’t very familiar with, like heavy metal and classic country music, and really listen to the music and lyrics. I’m a long-time metal fan, but watching their reactions to songs I’ve known for years makes me feel like I’m hearing them for the first time. 
    2. Sled Dog Twitter – Particularly Blair Braverman, but also Quince Mountain and Chrissie Bodznick (and other mushers you will see retweeted along the way). Until I stumbled across the story of Grinch, I’d never thought very much about sled dog racing. Now I can recognize individual dogs when I see their photos in my Twitter stream, and I can’t wait to see the latest updates from Alaska while the teams train for the Iditarod. I’m not a big sports fan, but I know what I’ll be following on March 2nd next year.
    3. Hydraulic Press Channel – Except pronounce it like “hygge” so it sounds more like, “hyoodraulic.” Lauri Vuohensilta is a young Finnish guy who owns a machine shop and likes to film what happens when he crushes things with a hydraulic press. He and his wife Anni are mostly off-camera, but their verbal reactions to how cool it looks when, say, a deck of playing cards explodes all over the shop make the fun contagious. The couple get more face time in their other channel, Beyond the Press, which documents their non-hydraulic-press-related destructive impulses. Check out the video where a crew explodes 110 pounds of dynamite in a swamp to make a pond for reindeer, which may be the most Finnish thing that has ever happened.
    4. Ask a Mortician – Caitlin Doughty is a mortician who is striving to overhaul the traditional funeral industry and advocate for more consumer choice, greener options, and more open discussions about death. This channel is chock-full of interesting information about the work of being a mortician, iconic corpses in history, funeral practices of other cultures, etc., all presented in a quirky but exceptionally informative and respectful manner.
    5. In the Kitchen with Kate – Millennial British siblings Kate and Alex sit at their kitchen table and try various snack foods from all over the world. I know, it doesn’t sound like much, but they’re charming and fun and their channel is a lovely brain break after a long day. I don’t think they ever rate anything below a six because they’re just too nice. 
    6. Hope for Paws Animal Rescue – Eldad Hagar takes to the streets and deserts around Los Angeles and sometimes further afield, filming as he and his team members rescue abandoned animals. I’ve been watching these videos for a long time, so I made the classic, “Have we met before?” mistake one time when I happened to meet him at a BlogPaws conference several years ago. Awkward! The videos serve as a great way to bring attention to the needs of adoptable pets and fundraise for the organization and the other rescue groups that partner with them.
    7. Epicurious – Cheap vs Expensive – This is my one Big Media entry here, but I have really been enjoying their videos where experts taste and evaluate foods and beverages, explaining why they believe that one is more expensive than the other. There’s a significant amount of education packed in as each person talks through the qualities of a good coffee, beer, bread, chocolate, etc. 
    8. Tango the HORF – This Twitter thread just started last week, but it went viral enough that Tango the HORF now has his own Twitter account. It’s the story of a young, stupid, goofy yet beautiful horse told hilariously by its owner’s daughter. He’s not dead, he just looks that way when he’s sleeping.

    What are your favorite YouTube channels and Twitter accounts to follow? Is there something great I need to know about?

  • Average Jane’s New Kitty BFF

    Earlier this year I predicted – correctly, as it sadly turned out – that this would be a year in which we lost three of our pets. Toby left us in August and we had to help Velvet pass on the day after Thanksgiving. It's been really, really hard.

    We are now down to four cats, which I realize sounds like a lot, but not when you'd once gotten used to having seven pets running around. Kaylee still lives up in the recording studio/TV room by herself, and we have Xena, Dr. Jones and Trillian in the main part of the house.

    Xena and Kaylee are my husband's kitty wives. Xena will sit on my lap while I'm on my laptop, but it's mostly because she wants to be ready to steal my chair when I get up. 

    Dr. Jones is everyone's buddy and he's always up for some petting or a game of fetch, but he spends most of his time guarding the kitchen against mice and lying on the floor vents to keep warm.

    Trillian

    Surprisingly, Trillian (a.k.a. Tiny) has come to the fore as my new snuggling pal. She has taken to ambushing me when I turn in at night and demanding that I pet her. But only so much! Because the Snapping Tortie has strict limits.

    Once I'm asleep, she'll curl up on my right shoulder and purr against the side of my face. It was awkward at first, especially that time when the foxes in the back yard started barking and freaked her out, waking me all the way up in the middle of the night. However, she's getting better at easing in gently and staying asleep for a reasonable amount of time.

    It's always impossible to predict how the inter-feline dynamics in the household will shift when there's a change. Xena and Trillian still hate each others' guts, but they have a carefully choreographed system for taking turns spending time with the humans.

    I would really love to get another dog someday, but I can't really afford it – and I also think the cats are enjoying things the way they are. For now, I'm spending as much time as I can with all the cats and watching how their personalities continue to develop. In fact, Trillian is on the back of the chair right above me now. I think I'll pet her for a bit before I go to work.

  • Average Jane Fixes Dinner

    I was out of town for work most of last week, so I wasn't prepared to make anything particularly involved for dinner last night. However, I did have all the ingredients for potato soup on hand. Before I sliced up potatoes, carrots and celery for the soup, I mixed up a loaf of beer bread and put it in the oven. 

    Beer bread is a recent addition to my baking repertoire, but now that I have come to appreciate it, I'm not sure how I managed to overlook it for so long. It's only three ingredients: self-rising flour, sugar and a can of beer. Because it doesn't need to rise, you can mix it up and bake it for less than an hour and you end up with a lovely loaf that's kind of a cross between bread and US-style biscuit.

    The first loaf of beer bread that I made a few weeks ago contained Boulevard Brewing Company Tropical Pale Ale. It's not a fave of mine for drinking, but it added an interesting fruity, hoppy edge to the bread that worked out well with the vegetable minestrone I'd made at the time.

    This time I used a Wasatch Apricot Hefeweisen that had been pushed to the back of our mini fridge since last year. You might be sensing a pattern here regarding the types of beer I keep on hand. The other options were Bud Light and Coors Light that someone left here (too boring) or Boulevard Jam Band Berry Ale (too pink). Everything else I have is high ABV, fancy, highly flavored and oversized, so I'll be saving those for drinking.

    Anyway, last night's batch of beer bread was very nice with just a hint of fruity flavor. It was pretty much perfect when buttered and served with the potato soup. I have enough leftovers of both the bread and the potato soup for at least a lunch or two this week.

    What's your favorite recipe that it took you a while to discover or appreciate?

  • Average Jane Finds Her Blog’s Purpose Again

    Way back in 2004, I started this blog in part to serve as a writing warmup every day before I went to work and wrote all day for clients. Today, I'm once again writing for a living and sometimes I find it challenging to turn on the word tap to the proper volume.

    Last week I traveled out of town to the office where most of my team members work. As we developed our editorial calendar for 2019, I could see that I'd be writing and publishing two blog posts every week – AND THAT FELT LIKE A LOT. Then I remembered that I used to blog here every single weekday, and I was kind of mad at myself for letting that slide.

    This feels like the perfect time to reinvigorate the blog for several reasons. There's no question that other social platforms have taken the place of my blog writing over the past decade. We've all known that those platforms are not ideal for content producers, but as they have become more toxic in their own ways, it feels refreshing to go back to a place where I can produce and store content that I own.

    Even my husband mentioned the other day that it was sad to see my blog decline because it used to be a convenient place to find out when we got various pets and track other milestones. 

    Nothing's going to change about this blog and its content except the frequency. I'm going to start by going back and filling in some of the aforementioned milestones from the past year or so, just so I'll have a place to find them easily going forward. I hope there are a few diehard readers still around, but if not I'll do this for myself.

    It feels good to be back.

  • Average Jane Works from Home

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    Today, Dr. Jones and the other cats helped me work all day. I had a doctor's appointment in the morning and when I got to my office, there were no parking spaces in any of the lots. I decided that the universe wanted me to spend the day writing from my living room chair. 

    It was quiet and I got a lot of stuff done, despite the fact that the cats took turns being on my lap at all times.

    How do you feel about working remotely when you could be working in an office?