Average Jane’s Day of Misery

When I woke up yesterday, I first thought I might be paying the price for drinking most of a bottle of wine with the previous night’s dinner. If only it had been so simple.

My entire Tuesday was one of those days that involves long stretches of time spent sitting or lying on various bathroom floors. I couldn’t drink water. I couldn’t drink Sprite. I couldn’t hold down saltines. Clearly, some food poisoning bug had managed to grab hold of my poor stomach.

Foolishly, I went to work anyway. That lasted about an hour and a half, most of which I spent in one of our admirably clean bathroom stalls or with my head down on my desk. I gave up around 10:30 and went home to sleep for a while.

I awakened at about 1:00 p.m. and managed to keep down some chicken soup, so I checked my e-mail and went back to the office to give it another go. I made it through a brief meeting and tidied up a few of the projects mentioned prominently in the e-mail, then bailed again when the desire to lie down overrode the desire to soldier through the workday. What a lovely impression to make on my SECOND DAY ON THE JOB. Luckily, the office is pretty empty this week and I sit in a remote corner.

Anyway, I went back home and started Round 2 of the tiresome game, “What foods and drinks will my stomach accept?” The answer was “none of the above.” By now my head was splitting and my face was flushed. I Googled my symptoms and ran across the New Zealand Ministry of Health’s list of common foodbourne illnesses, which they’d saucily entitled Meet the Bugs. It reassured me that I probably wouldn’t die, and I went back to bed for many, many hours.

I finally awakened again well after dark and accepted my husband’s offer to bring me more chicken soup, some pre-made Jell-o cups, and some Gatorade. I could already tell my stomach was making normal noises again, but was still pleased to be allowed to keep and digest the new food. The fever and headache were gone. Life seemed back to normal.

Today I feel pretty good, albeit dehydrated and under-fueled. I’m not taking any chances, though. I’m bringing soup and Jell-o for lunch!