Average Jane’s Action-Packed Weekend

I jammed so many activites into last weekend that I’m having a difficult time deciding where to start.  I suppose I can begin with my weekend souvenir:  the first chigger bites of the season.  I hope Caladryl cuts the itching a little because I don’t think I can function at work with a bloodstream full of Benadryl.

Let’s go back before the chigger bites to Saturday afternoon.  I auditioned for a band that I had found on an online message board and briefly met the previous Wednesday. (I think I needed to pass the "no fat chicks" test before they cared what I sounded like.)  So anyway, I brought my own mic, mic stand, music stand and the lyrics to the songs they’d specified and spent the afternoon singing heavy metal songs from my youth.

This band has a lot of original material, too, but no lyrics or even names for the songs.  How convenient that I’m a writer!  I don’t have a lot of spare time, but I think I can come up with a song’s worth of lyrics per week if I’m disciplined about it.  It should be fun.  The band guys are younger than I am, but not by so much that it seems weird.

On Saturday evening I went to the roller derby with a group of friends and had a great time as usual.  After that, we all went to a party not far from my neighborhood and that’s where the chigger bites come in.  I thought I’d sprayed bug repellant everywhere, but apparently "everywhere" did not include the middle of my lower spine and a couple of other places I’ll politely decline to specify.  I didn’t get home until almost 2:00 a.m., which is astoundingly late for me. 

On Sunday I decided to assemble my early birthday present from my husband:  a hammock stand.  I have a hammock that I bought with some birthday money last year (the year before?), but had never put up because we don’t have two trees close enough together.   The stand went together easily and I took the hammock out of its box and prepared to hang it on the stand, only to discover that I still need rope or chain to put it up.  Grrr.  I guess I’ll take some extra clothesline and work on it later.

Inside the hammock box was a blue, fabric bag with a sticker on it that read, "Turn storage bag right side out before using."  I couldn’t help wondering if someone had really calculated the economy of printing those labels and having someone stick them on every bag versus just having the same person quickly turn each bag right side out before shipment.

My husband had an out of town drumming gig on Friday and Saturday night and drove through the night to get home early Sunday morning.  When he finally woke up, we skipped right past breakfast, had a 2:00 p.m. lunch and saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith at a nearby movie theater.  The rest of the day went by fairly quickly, then my husband headed off for a recording session not long before I turned in for the night.

Next weekend I’m back to having nothing planned, and three days in which to make that nothing happen!  I’m taking suggestions…