Average Jane Hates Business Cliches

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Once upon a time I worked as a consultant for a large corporation. It was my first exposure to the horrific business catchphrases that people at large companies pick up and carelessly throw around in conversation. On the first day when my supervisor told me to meet with someone for "knowledge transfer," I almost laughed in his face.

Now that I work at a small company again, I thought I was immune to the worst corporate-speak cliches, but judging from this article from Fortune, Business Buzzwords That Make You Gag, I need to rid myself of a few lingering jargon parasites.

Are you guilty of uttering any of the phrases on the list? Can you think of any bad ones that didn’t make the list?

Comments

7 responses to “Average Jane Hates Business Cliches”

August 11, 2005

cagey

The one that I always hated was one when people used “opportunity” for what was really a SUCKY situation. That’s like me saying that all my ex-boyfriends were “opportunities”.

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August 11, 2005

Pharmgirl

My company’s name starts with a “V” we hear that “vision” crap ALL THE TIME! “Out of the box” is also the NUMBER ONE annoying one for me. C’mon, when was the last time there was really a totally NEW and ORIGINAL idea?

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August 11, 2005

BLAUGRA

When an ad agency describes their work: “we can do the campaign, soup to nuts!” What? This is complemented by “…that’s it, in a nutshell.”
When approaching a new prospect: “Let’s feel him out” always sounds like sexual harrassment. Also use “test the waters”.
When a project is in early, secret work stages: “We need to fly under the radar with this one” again with the air traffic controller lingo.
When a person needs to give me information in person: “Let me download this to you.”
Practical application example:
“So, you’re gonna wanna feel him out, test the waters, so to speak, but stay under the radar — then you can download the info to the work unit back at the ranch and we can construct a plan for deployment.”
We’re all ridiculous.

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August 12, 2005

Keith

Personal favourite hates of mine include bringing people up to speed or keeping them in the loop. We once had someone describing a new employee saying lets sit him down and see what he brings to the party. The worst of all time is let’s throw it on the ground and see if the chickens peck at it YAK !

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August 12, 2005

kevboy

I hear people using “value added” where I work, and it seems to be one of those phrases that neither the speaker nor the unfortunate individual they’re speaking to know what the heck they’re saying.
My manager used to ALWAYS refer to crappy jobs as a “career opportunity.”
“Benefit of the doubt”
“Leverage”
I was just talking to my office-mate about this annoyance two days ago!

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August 12, 2005

Pharmgirl

OMG! The comments are funnier than the article! Nice contributions, everyone. Now that is some stellar out-of-the-box thinking if I’ve EVER seen it!

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August 15, 2005

Fi

NZ’s obssession with rugby even infiltrates business, i.e.
“Take this idea and run with it”
and (when a project is finalised) “I think we can safely kick this one into touch.”

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