Average Jane’s Party History

Sometimes people want to know why my husband and I have our annual parties and invite everyone we know.  I think it’s because my parents used to do the same thing when I was growing up. 

Depending on budget and other circumstances, sometimes my folks’ parties were fairly elaborate.  My sister and I will never forget the party where my mother ordered an entire roast suckling pig.  It was DISgusting!  I remember that it had olives in its horrid eye sockets and an apple in its mouth.  We had leftover pork in the freezer for a year, but neither one of us would knowingly eat it.  I presume my mom hid some of it in various dishes and eventually threw the rest away.

My mother worked in advertising and my father worked in law enforcement.  When you put his friends and co-workers together with her friends, clients and co-workers, it wasn’t exactly a seamless blend.  I distinctly remember one party where a couple of advertising and/or media people busily uprooted wild hemp from the woods next to our barn and stashed it in their car while the cops pretended not to notice.

Eventually they divided their groups and had separate, smaller parties.  Fortunately, my husband and I have relatively compatible friends, so I doubt we’d ever need to split them up.  If any group objects to any other group, they’re all polite enough to play it off.

Of course, the "everyone we know" list ebbs and flows over time.  Of the approximately 200 people we’ve invited this year via Evite, more than 100 haven’t RSVPed.  Some of the e-mail addresses are probably outdated, but that doesn’t excuse the people revealed by Evite to have looked at their invitations but not responded.  Common courtesy, folks!  That’s why there’s a "Maybe" option – if you can’t commit, you can at least sit on the "Maybe" fence.  Or just say "No."  That’s better than no answer at all.  </obsessed hostess rant>

So anyway, there’s a precedent for this annual madness and it IS a lot of fun.  Plus, it gets me to clean up my house and grounds, so that’s a nice bonus.  Which reminds me, I need to go put a bandana on my head, change into the t-shirt I use for painting and dyeing my hair, and apply Kilz to the bathroom ceiling.  ‘Bye for now!