Reminiscing With Average Jane

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In yesterday’s post on Velcrometer, M. Giant shared the story of his weekend bout of food poisoning. The commenters all jumped in with their own horrible stories of copious puking. Why? Because nobody can resist once that topic gets started. Oh, occasionally someone will come along who claims he or she never throws up, but I find that very difficult to believe.

My most hideously memorable food poisoning experience took place in Las Vegas. A friend of mine was there getting married and I was one of her bridesmaids. I made it through the ceremony and the reception, but the rest of the evening was Average Jane’s Puking Tour of the Strip. I threw up in the bushes at Caesar’s Palace. I threw up in the wastebasket on one of the buses (my husband said everyone looked at me as though I were a crazed junkie, but I was too sick to care). I threw up in the bathroom at Planet Hollywood (but the bathroom attendant had mouthwash so, score!). Eventually I ended up in the emergency room with a saline drip. The next day I slept all day long while all my friends ran around having fun.

My runner-up story happened in college. I was sitting in biology class when I started feeling queasy. (It was NOT a hangover, by the way. I’d had some suspicious deli meat for lunch earlier that day.) Because I was sitting near the front of a big lecture hall, I was reluctant to get up in front of everyone. That was a very bad call. I ended up puking all over my books, purse and lap and THEN getting up in front of everyone.

Okay, I’m throwing down the gauntlet. Let’s hear your terrible yakking stories. You know you can’t resist.

Comments

13 responses to “Reminiscing With Average Jane”

January 10, 2006

Keith

Many years ago, after too many to drink, I was in an Indian restaurant with a friend and two girls. I suddenyl had the urge to puke and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I knew I couldn’t make it to the gents, so burst into the ladies, where one of the girls who’d been with us, was washing her hands in the basin. Bleugh, a technicolour yawn into the basin, floating on the water.
The girls made up am important appointment and left us to finish the curry and pay the bill.

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January 10, 2006

cagey

This topic is right up my alley! I have several good Las Vegas throwing up stories! the 1st one was my first encounter with screwdrivers at the age of 16 – we were all visiting my grandpa at the time. My cousin and I were sneaking them left and right while the adults weren’t looking. The next morning, we were throwing them up left and right. Can’t stand the smell of screwdrivers to this day.
The 2nd one involved an unfortunate incident at the Las Vegas Club downtown when I was in my mid 20s. I SWEAR they were giving me bad rum and cokes. I ended up throwing up in the elevator at the Monte Carlo where i was staying.
The 3rd incident started at the Monte Carlo instead of ending there. After a night spent at the craps table, I hobbled into my room for an hours of sleep, then caught a flight back home. By the time I landed in KC, I had to have a friend come pick me up because I couldn’t drive home I was so sick. Certainly not one of my prouder moments.

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January 10, 2006

Mikey

I was at a house party and there was a lot of potluck food that guests had brought. I ate a bit of everything, and soon I knew I had to york, so I went around to the side of the house and threw up in the bushes. The problem was the hosts 2 dogs ate the puke, then went inside, and puked in front of everyone. That set a couple more people off. Ahh, memories…

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January 10, 2006

cagey

ONE MORE:
When I was pregnant last year, I didn’t throw up too much, but man oh man, when I did it was MEMORABLE. I was driving home in rush hour traffic, doing 70 MPH and was forced to puke in my OWN lap because I couldn’t get over the right hand shoulder. Bleh.

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January 10, 2006

Mel

I’m one of those people. I’ve only thrown up twice since 7th grade. First pregnancy, ate a deviled egg on an empty stomach. Second pregnancy, gagged myself with a toothbrush.
I’m so boring and also fanatical about not eating old food.

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January 10, 2006

pharmgirl

Cagey’s last story was….AWESOME! I hate to puke, fo sho’ but I cannot beat that!

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January 10, 2006

me

This speaks to my grossest parenting moment – the Little Man literally did an Exorcist hurl right into my shirt and lap last year. From 2 feet away. Copious volumes of sick, travelling at thousands of miles per hour out of his perfectly “o” shaped mouth. Makes me shudder to this day.

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January 10, 2006

bitterkat

I really hate puking and have managed to avoid it most of my life but I have a good story. Years ago when I was living abroad someone in our household made some very strong pot brownies. I ate one too many and started to hallucinate. Part of the hallucination involved my guts coming out my belly button. Sure enough, I made my hallucination come to fruition…sort of. I puked up my dinner all over my husband and my bed. No more pot brownies for me! And my husband makes sure of that.

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January 11, 2006

Stacie

Okay, it has nothing to with yakking, but I had to ask…
Have you read Finding Serenity?
A friend blogged about it
http://bkwriter.blogspot.com/2006/01/book-banter-finding-serenity.html
and I remember you saying that you went to the movie.

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January 11, 2006

Jane

Stacie – No, I hadn’t heard of that book. I just picked up a DVD of the movie last night, but so far I’ve only seen it twice. 😉 Thanks for calling my attention to the book!

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January 11, 2006

Dorothy

I got food poisoning from a portabello mushroom sandwich in the Ozarks on a romantic weekend with my beloved. We had a bed and breakfast with a hot tub in the room. I spent the entire night sobbing on or near the toilet, spewing from every possible orafice. So disgusting. So memorable.

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January 12, 2006

Zoe

Hey I’m another one of “those” people who have thrown up, I don’t know, twice in my life? Once was when I was little. I can’t quite recally exactly why it happened, maybe I was sick. But I remember I went into the garage for something. Who knows why I went there if I was feeling sick? Little kids are insane (ok so I never grew out of that.) But anyway, all I remember was I just couldn’t hold it long enough to run to the bathroom, so I puked all over the concrete floor. Luckily I had the presence of mind to avoid the washing machine and the shoe rack. What was most memorable was that I looked down and saw noodles and little pieces of carrot. Never thought I’d see my dinner again so soon.

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January 14, 2006

noell

I threw up on an airplane. It shot straight down the aisle. Just as we were landing. Oh, I got my share of evil glares from all the passengers who had to find their way down that aisle of vomit to get off the plane.

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