Average Jane’s Primary Source of Puncture Wounds

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Xena’s latest trick is hopping on my back while I’m leaning forward over the bathroom counter to put in my contacts. The word "No" is apparently not in her limited vocabulary.

It would almost be kind of cute except that she uses her claws for purchase, and she really wants to stay once she’s up there. While bra shopping over the weekend, I discovered that I have no small number of scratches and punctures on my back and shoulders, thanks to her.

Speaking of bra shopping (guys, you can skip this part), I’d been reading over the past couple of weeks about Suzanne and Monkey going for professional fittings and I decided it was time I did the same, even though they had mixed results.

I went to Nordstrom because it was the only place I could think of that would offer bra fittings. It was Saturday afternoon, I happened to be dressed up because I’d been to a memorial service, and I hated to waste the chance to shop in a nice department store while not looking like a dirtbag who needs to keep her hands in plain sight for the security cameras.

It turned out that the size I’d been wearing was wrong in both directions: the band size was too big and the cup size was too small. Of course, I’m sure that’ll change again the instant I get out and start exercising regularly, but it’s awfully nice to be this comfortable for now.

We won’t even talk about the ridiculous amount of money I spent on two bras. I tried on different ones for what seemed like hours, and I was happy to fork over any amount for the two that fit and looked decent under a t-shirt.

I don’t know where to go with this narrative after a digression like that, so I suppose I’ll stop here and get ready for work, shutting Xena out of the bathroom beforehand. Enjoy your Monday!

Comments

8 responses to “Average Jane’s Primary Source of Puncture Wounds”

  1. Donna W Avatar

    The ladies who work at Dillards in Independence Center do bra fittings. Like you, I found I was wearing the wrong sizes. If you don’t throw your bras in the dryer, two of them will last quite well for two or three years, which means you stretch out your investment over a long period of time.
    Have you ever read Gusewelle’s “Another Cat at the Door”? Just a series of his observations on the cats in his life.
    I have no cat scars, but my hyperactive dog, Sadie, has left a tooth-mark or claw-mark on me here and there, when we were tussling for a stick or a pull-toy.

  2. Jennifer H Avatar

    There are secondary (and possible tertiary?) sources of puncture wounds? 🙂
    I need to do a fitting, also. I would spend a fortune, too.

  3. cagey Avatar

    That is IT.
    As soon as I am done serving as the primary food source for my kid, I am going to Nordstrom’s for a bra fitting.
    STAT.

  4. cagey Avatar

    Also, can we expect some snaps of your new and improved rackage?

  5. logtar Avatar

    Dangerous Kitty… now if he could also undue the bra you could sell that cat for a lot. LOL

  6. Suzanne Avatar

    I am glad that I inspired you to go for the deluxe bra treatment! I would definitely go to Nordstrom’s if they had one in NYC, but alas, none for me. I do so love their online sales, though.

  7. m.toast Avatar
    m.toast

    Go to Nordstrom’s for the nice undies (I definitely agree). Stay for the live piano player on the weekends. Two of the only redeeming features of having to go to the maul, IMO.

  8. Rozanne Avatar

    I am moving closer and closer to going for a professional bra fitting. I keep reading about how miraculous and life-changing these bra fittigs turn out to be. I’m afraid though that they’re going to tell me that the correct size for me is something like 38 AA or that I a training bra.
    BTW: I feel the same way as you do about going into Nordstrom’s. I just don’t look the part.

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