Average Jane, Mad Grammarian

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I read a LOT of blogs, and most of them are quite well written. However, there are certain grammar and word choice mistakes I see over and over. Sometimes I think the perpetrator is just being careless, but at other times it’s an honest lack of knowledge. Here are some of the examples I’ve noticed lately:

Phase (a stage in a process of change or development) when someone means faze (to cause to be disturbed or disconcerted). Examples: My kid is going through a teething phase. It didn’t faze me when the flying saucer landed because I’ve been expecting the aliens all my life.
Voila (used to call attention to or express satisfaction with a thing shown or accomplished), often seen spelled as some variation of wahlah or walla. Not only does that leave out the delightful "vwah" sound at the beginning, but it robs the writer of the chance to interject a cool French word into his or her writing. Example: Voila! I’ve learned how to use the word, "voila."
There’s the oft-confused Affect (to act on; produce an effect or change in) and Effect (something that is produced by an agency or cause; result; consequence). Examples: Let’s see how this magic potion affects me! The potion had the effect of turning me into a wombat.
Eek (an exclamation of surprise) is not the same as eke (to supplement; add to; stretch). Examples: Eek! I’ve turned into a wombat! How can a wombat eke out an existence in the suburbs?
Okay, let’s dig in and get this one straight: Lie and Lay, present and past tense, refer to things that you do. Examples: I’m going to lie down for a bit. I lay out in the sun all afternoon. Lay and Laid are things that are done to something. Examples: I’m going to lay out the placemats on the dining room table. I laid a gun next to my plate in case my dinner guests got too dangerous.
Finally, It’s versus Its. I’ll let Bob the Angry Flower explain that one for you.

All definitions drawn from Dictionary.com. All examples courtesy of the way my brain works at 6 a.m.

Do you have any to add?

Comments

17 responses to “Average Jane, Mad Grammarian”

June 11, 2008

Keith

One of my pets irritations is when someone discovers a “grizzly” murder when in fact bears were not the perpetrators. Grisly if you please !

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June 11, 2008

Shane

One of the worst I see is lose/loose.
Affect/effect is one that I see a lot too. I don’t think it was explained well in schools. I was an English major and I imagine I’ve gotten it wrong before.
I wonder if the thing with voila is that it has an accent normally (kind of like naive), so we can’t actually spell it right without some nifty finger yoga to type the accented letter. So maybe people are figuring if they can’t spell it right, they’ll just spell it phonetically. OK, that might be a stretch…but it’s possible.

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June 11, 2008

Raven

When I find the its/it’s problem in my own blog, it’s due to sheer carelessness. Most times, I’ll check back over my blog later in the day when I have time and edit it more slowly. I actually to give it a once over before I post it…I guess I just don’t see every mistake the first time through.
It would be easier if my wordpress didn’t mark EVERY word as wrong; it’s more difficult to spot errors when there is “red pen” ALL OVER your page.

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June 11, 2008

jennyonthespot

Yes! Their, there and they’re! Drives. Me. Nuts!
I must admit, though, the whole lay/lie thing still escapes me. I nearly flunked 7th grade because of it. Oh well, except for my stupidity on that point, I am absolutely perfect in every other way!

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June 11, 2008

emawkc

I see ‘of’ in place of ‘have’ all the time. Like I would of if I could of.
BTW, you missed a golden opportunity for a more colorful example for lay/laid. Just sayin’…

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June 11, 2008

laurie

I just enrolled in an online grammar class because I looked at some of my old blog posts (all written from the hip and published as first drafts) and I thought, “I can do better.”

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June 11, 2008

June

I actually corrected a hand-written note from the building manager posted in the elevator this morning. It was a warning that “trees have fell in the parking lot”

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June 11, 2008

meesha.v

my blog is written in perfect English, I probably should be teaching the class mentioned above.

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June 11, 2008

Well Hell Michelle

Love the list 🙂 Your and You’re used incorrectly are my pet peeves.

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June 11, 2008

dee

I hate when I see affect/effect used incorrectly. It drives me crazy! Although I would guess that I’ve been guilty of some of the other ones you listed. There have been many times that I’ve looked words up just to make sure I’m using them right.

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June 11, 2008

laurie

Oh! Affect/effect drives me crazy, too! Others:
-‘all things considering’ instead of ‘considered’.
-‘I could care less’ instead of ‘I couldn’t care less.’
-myself or yourself when it should be me or you (a person like yourself, someone like myself – ugh!)
and I’m sure I’ll be back with more…

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June 11, 2008

Amy

Love it. Like June, I usually write with perfect grammar.

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June 12, 2008

Margaret

OMG yes, what dee said. The myself vs. yourself thing. It’s been going on for so long that I feel arrogant or cocky using “me” anymore. Like I’m being selfish or something: me me me!!!
However, I’m proud to say that myself used “voila” correctly in a recent post!

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June 12, 2008

Pork With Bones

I think the confusion of lie vs. lay stems not so much from the present tense vs. past tense confusion, but from the fact that lay is an infinitive in its own right.
“Lie” is an intransitive verb, and does not take an object. “I think I will lie down on the beach.”
“Lay” is a transitive verb, and requires an object. “I think I will lay the towel down on the beach.”
I posted about this, once upon a time. (Soon to be transferred to my Pork With Bones domain.)

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June 12, 2008

Midlife Slices

I want to scream when someone uses loose instead of lose.
I need to lose weight so my pants will be loose.
I once had a man tell me he didn’t want to loose me. He did. 🙂

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June 13, 2008

ByJane

I dub all of you honorary Freshman Comp teachers.

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June 13, 2008

me

It seems that you have wombats in the belfry at 6:30 am. 🙂
The samples remind me of the samples you used to write at the Greeting Card Factory.

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