Rip VanAverage Jane

Once upon a time, a woman fell asleep on a Friday afternoon and the next thing she knew, it was Monday night.

That's the way I feel after the weekend I've had. I had to leave work after just a few hours on Friday because I felt absolutely horrible. I made it through a conference call after I got home, then dealt with a brouhaha involving someone who was trying to use the name "Average Jane" for a group in Kansas City. After that, I had no energy left for anything but a hard sleep.

I woke up and made a doctor's appointment late in the afternoon. The nurse practitioner prescribed some antibiotics because my symptoms suggested a kidney infection. Once I got home, I installed myself in bed until late Saturday morning.

Somehow I made it through all of my obligations for the weekend, which included a birthday lunch with my aunt, a gig with my band, a volunteer shift taking care of the adoptable cats at Petco, and a hair appointment. I cannot even fathom how I managed to sing forty rock songs in front of a crowd as bad as I felt, but I give all the credit to Gatorade and the over-the-counter pharmaceutical industry. I couldn't tell if it was the stage lights or my fever that made me feel uncomfortably warm the whole time.

I slept for hours and hours and hours over the weekend. My appetite was shot, the fever lingered, and there was nothing in the world that I wanted to do other than lie down.

This morning, I actually thought I was feeling better when I woke up. I went upstairs to read my e-mail and check in to see what I'd missed on Twitter and Facebook. (I'm disappointed that I didn't catch any SXSWi chatter this year.) By the time I went downstairs to get ready for work less than a half hour later, I was wiped out. I tried to get dressed, but had to stop and lie down. I gave up and went back to sleep.

The nurse practitioner called in the afternoon and said I could stop taking the antibiotics because I didn't have a kidney infection after all. She said I probably had some kind of virus, which left me no recourse but to rest, drink lots of fluids, yadda, yadda, yadda. As if I hadn't spent the last three days doing exactly that.

Now I think I actually do feel better. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can make it through the workday tomorrow and the next day before I head to Waterloo, Iowa to speak at Creative Bloc. Wish me luck getting caught up.