Average Jane’s Unhappy New Year

I spent most of New Year's Day 2011 at the bedside of my dying stepmother, trying to comfort my dad as best I could. My husband came to the hospital around 3:00 p.m. and we left to get food and run some errands. She died about a half hour later.

So you might say there's nowhere to go but up at this point.

Early in the week I was still trying to shake off the lingering effects of the intestinal bug from the previous week and nurse my husband through the same illness when it got him.

Once I'd mostly recovered, I started helping my dad clear out the small commercial building he and my stepmother had just sold. In the process, I discovered that my dad was going to need a lot of help with day-to-day things like learning to make coffee and run the dishwasher.

He asked me to go through their mail and figure out what bills needed to be paid, which turned out to be a two-day process that eventually involved writing more than 25 checks and dropping off property tax payments at the County Courthouse on their due date of December 31st.

My dad handled things with the funeral home, but today I'm going to go over and help him notify friends and write an obituary. There won't be a funeral, per my stepmother's wishes.

There's going to be so much to do. I know my dad wants to sell their house and move into an apartment. He still runs a small business and he'll need a lot of help with that. It's not an exaggeration to say that my stepmother was his right hand.

Today I'm just exhausted. I got a reasonable amount of sleep, but I have a tension headache that won't go away. I wish I could afford a massage because I really need one.

From here on out, I'm just going to have to keep my schedule pretty open and hope for the best. And try to get in a nap whenever I can.

Comments

16 responses to “Average Jane’s Unhappy New Year”

  1. Plazajen Avatar

    I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself as much as you can – you can’t help your dad if you’re sick and run down. If he can afford to hire someone to help him a little bit, that might be useful – and would help take some of the pressure off of you? I wish you good health, strength and perseverance.

  2. Laurie Avatar

    So sorry the year started off this way, but you’re right– nowhere to go but up. Best wishes to your dad and to you as you help him. There are few tougher times than a loss like that.

  3. Simon Avatar

    Celeste, sorry to hear everything you’ve had to go through these past few days. I know that it is hard to be positive through the kind of difficulty you’ve had the past few months. Hoping that you and Alex and your dad will continue to see the promise of the New Year during your tough times.

  4. Spyder Avatar
    Spyder

    I’m so sorry. I had no idea that when you said your stepmom going into the hospital was this serious. If there is anything we can do just let us know. Sending thoughts & prayers.

  5. Jessica Wilson Avatar
    Jessica Wilson

    Celeste I am so sorry to hear this and that your year has started out this way if there is anything I can do to help please do let me know. I’ll be thinking about you! Sending prayers.

  6. Bryan H. Avatar
    Bryan H.

    My prayers to you, your father, your family and your step mom’s soul. Take care of what is important in life.
    After a month of being at my dad’s bedside during his battle with cancer, he passed just minutes after my mother and I left his room. It’s an old German folk tale that proud people will not die in front of their families. I always believed he waited to die to preserve his pride & dignity.
    Bless you all, Celeste.
    BH

  7. cagey Avatar

    Oh my God, Celeste. I am shocked reading this – I knew that she was sick, but had no idea she had passed.
    I am so, so sorry – I know that you cared for her. My condolences to your father, too.
    Take care of yourself, just reiterating what everyone else has said. You need your good health, particularly right now!

  8. flask Avatar

    good luck to you, average, jane. i’ll day a few prayers for you and your family.
    me, i finished out the year at what can only be described as a quarter-of-the-way house on the ground of a very fine mental hospital and today my three day furlough is up and in a couple of hours i’ll pack my bags and return with the rest of the crazies and drunks and junkies and we’ll all hope that the the new year brings us more peace and cleanness and sanity than the old. so good luck to you and them, and all of us; God bless us, every one.

  9. Vee Avatar

    Oh, Celeste, I’m really sorry. I have no words of wisdom over here. I’m just really sorry.

  10. Lruettimann Avatar

    OH NO. I hope there is some comfort knowing that you have friends all over the globe who are thinking of you, praying for your family, and wishing you a) rest and b) peace.
    And you have five kitties over here rooting you on.
    xo

  11. LuAnn Avatar
    LuAnn

    Oh My God–I am really shocked to read this, too, along with others. And I’d just sent a breezy text to you about how my father loved some treat you had made that I had frozen until his visit. I did not know. I am SO SORRY. If there is anything–and I mean ANYTHING–I can do for you or any of your family, please let me know. You and all yours are in my thoughts at this hard time.

  12. LuAnn Avatar
    LuAnn

    Reread your touching post, and wanted to add: You are such a good daughter. We could all strive to be so good.

  13. JoolieB Avatar

    I’m so sorry, Celeste. Condolences.

  14. Keith Avatar

    Wondered why you had been so quiet. Thoughts are with you AJ

  15. Average Jane Avatar

    Thanks for all of the support. I’m not going to respond to comments individually this time, but I really appreciate everyone’s positive thoughts.

  16. me Avatar
    me

    I’m so sorry you’ve got all of this piled on. Thinking of you – please call if I can do anything.

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