Average Jane Receives A Message

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Yesterday I was fishing in my purse for something and I noticed that my last cough drop was propped up inside my wallet, revealing the message, "Don't waste a precious minute."

Now, I wouldn't mind so much if that were written on a nice piece of candy or gum. However, it comes across as a little chilling on the wrapper of something that is essentially medicine.

Does my cough drop know something I don't?

If it had more space, would it be saying something like, "Wow, that cough sounds pretty bad. And you've had it for weeks. In fact, this is the last cough drop in the bag. You say you're also using a steroid inhaler, taking codeine cough medicine at night and dosing yourself with prescription allergy pills and nasal spray? Hmm. Well, I don't want to alarm you or anything, but maybe you should take some time to stop and smell the roses. Did you hug your husband today? Call your sister? Pet the cats? I'm just saying…"

Then again, maybe it's suggesting that I spend less time goofing around online. In which case, I suppose I'm done here.

Comments

5 responses to “Average Jane Receives A Message”

April 20, 2011

Barb Holter

What a cute piece of writing, Celeste. Quite excellent. I didn’t know you had quite so many respiratory issues. Are you allergic to cats? Just kidding. bzh

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April 20, 2011

Average Jane

Barb – I’ve actually gotten much better, but I had a rough couple of weeks there due to allergies (pollen and mold) and asthma.

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April 20, 2011

lizriz

Hilarious.

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April 23, 2011

LisaC

Someone at the cough drop copywriting factory has a great sense of humor. And so do you!

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April 26, 2011

absence of Alternatives

if your cough drop were not worried about you stamping your foot on it, it would have said, “Maybe it’s time to try the Neti Pot before you get so much steroid in you that you’ll be mistaken for a baseball player?”

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