Average Jane’s Warranty Runs Out

Warning: This post contains lots and lots of whining.

My birthday was Monday, July 7th and I was perfectly cool with yet another year ticking over on my personal odometer. That is, until this Monday. That was the day when I noticed my lower back strongly protesting as I routinely gathered the trash and cleaned the litter boxes. My back hurt enough that I actually asked my husband to take the trash out for me, but he was already shoeless and ready for bed, so I did it myself.

That day at work I spent a lot of time in my super uncomfortable office chair working on a project that required significant concentration. My back was not happy about it, but I used my foam roller when I got home and I thought it was all good.

The next day I got out of bed and thought I was still okay. That is, until I got to work and realized that my back was not feeling cooperative about the whole "getting out of the car" thing. It all went rapidly downhill from there. I fidgeted uncomfortably through my morning meetings and found that I couldn't quite straighten all the way when I got up from sitting. Toward the end of the day, I could barely walk at all and I spent the last meeting of the day standing while everyone else sat. 

My massage therapist couldn't get me in until next week, but she gave me some advice on trigger points to work on. I think that's what got me out the door and back to my own house.

I applied a variety of treatments when I got home: Biofreeze, ice pack, bourbon and cola. They all helped dull the pain, but the stiffness remained. I couldn't take the massage therapist's advice on further foam rolling because I could no longer get to the floor.

Sleeping wasn't bad as long as I lay flat on my back and didn't try to move. When the dog needed to go out at 2:00 a.m., I called my husband and had him come down and take him. Unfortunately my husband didn't respond at 4:30 a.m. when it was dog feeding time, so I had to execute an elaborate plié to get the food from the measuring cup into the bowl on the floor.

This morning I was trying to be optimistic about my ability to get to work despite the fact that I cannot bend at the waist at all. My inability to dress myself ultimately decided the whole thing and I emailed my boss to tell her that I'm going to spend the morning trying to schedule some kind of therapeutic care that I hope will allow me to get to the office later on.

I am really rather angry at my own body right now. I have stuff to do and I don't have time for this. I'm performing with my band on Saturday night, for one thing. And I'm heading to BlogHer next week. Not being able to sit is a rather signficant impediment to air travel.

Apparently this is a test of my patience and resilience. So far I'm getting a failing grade.

Update: I managed to suck it up and do the recommended foam roller work, which made me functional enough to put on pants and get to the office. Even better, I now have a deep tissue massage appointment at 4:30 p.m. today, so let's hope this is all behind me soon.